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After reading this chapter, my head began to hurt and my mind just shut down. I could not think anymore and I could not stay awake. This is so heart wrenching. This is how I handle painful situations. I cannot function anymore. The only thing I can do is to pray to God, ask him to be at peace, and tomorrow I can face the obstacle. This reading brought back so many memories. You will find out later on as you read this post. Let’s continue with Laurie.

In Kindergarten, Laurie was an interesting little person. She is bright, very confident, and she is very observant of her home life and tries to replenish her emotional upheaval with the prince, “Nicholas” when she goes to school. I wonder why, some females feel that if you find your prince charming, then all your problems will be resolved when it might just add onto your existing circumstances? It was interesting to see how Laurie was so protective of their relationship at school. By drawing Nicholas into her web, while she was at school, gave Laurie the control to monopolize and consume the relationship, in which she did not possess at home. It seems to me that her observation of the females in her family were the dominant ones in her household. Therefore, she felt that she should be the dominant one too, which ceded into the school environment. Her, I’m in charge attitude and nurturing tendencies because of her experiences at home, transferred into the school environment only isolated her from other experiences in the classroom. She just migrated to Nicholas, because her confidence was not there for her to venture into the unknown or explore other relationships in the classroom. She was exhibiting what she had experienced at home and this is what she thought life was all about. In Hick’s story, she never said anything about the mother or grandmother taking the time to read, write, or instill moral values that would make a difference later on in her life. Its amazing, yet, still it is true, there are people who are struggling to survive. The people in this household struggled to survive financially, emotionally, and physically. Now, I really know the meaning of EXIST. It is a fact that these people in this household exist, however, they do not relate, they do not connect, and the only purpose for them is to survive. We have a lot of Laurie’s on every grade level in our classrooms and in this world. I know, my daughter was a Laurie. She was an emotional Laurie. She was as smart as a whip. She had very good manners, and she was very sociable. However, she was self-fish and domineering. There were not any males present in her life or mine, just as Laurie’s mother and grandmother’s life. My husband was killed in a car accident the same day she was born and my father past away when she was 3 years old. I worked two jobs. She was dropped off in the before and after school care at a daycare center and they would transport her to school. I would then pick her up and drop her off at one of my cousin’s house and I would go to work. Then, I would pick her up at 9:30 at night or sometimes at 10:00; depending on the time I would leave my second job. The store closed at 9:00 and I always had to close the store for the day. I would use my lunch hour on my first job to do my volunteer work at that school. She attended a private school. In attending private school, parents had to volunteer their services one-hour per week as a way of showing parent involvement. One day, I received a letter from the headmaster of that school to attend a conference. I thought it was strange, in regards to that, I knew it was a formal meeting. Remember-- I received a letter. When I met with him, he shared with me all the positives of my daughter. He said, she is a very intelligent young lady in academia. She’s a great speller, enjoys mathematics, science, and all the subject content area of school. However, and that is when my heart dropped. That HOWEVER was like a BUT. He shared with me the emotional behaviors my daughter was exhibiting in the classroom. Then he asked me to share our home life. I shared with him my working schedule and our interactions at home and how we attend church on Sundays and it went on. These are his words, and they still bring chills to my body today. He said and he was very stern and authoritative, “if you want your child to be emotionally stable in society, you MUST quit one of your jobs. You must quit one of your jobs for your child’s emotional well being”. I was speechless and I continued to listen. I could not believe that my child exhibited those behaviors he shared with me. I quietly exited his office, prayed, and took the rest of the day off from work. I did not know what to do. From the headmaster’s conversation, the scenario I envision was that eventually, one day, my daughter might end up being emotionally unstable. I do not know the extinct, but being emotionally unstable is something you do not want for your child. I thought long and hard about our lively hood and the extra money made it comfortable for ME. So, I resigned from my part-time employment and from that point on I promised myself, I would never work two jobs as long as she attended school. Her kindergarten year ended up being a successful and positive one academically and socially.

When I read about Laurie’s experiences in the first grade, I was heartbroken when Hick’s stated that Laurie was learning how to fail. Laurie sounds like one of the little girls in my classroom. I will call her Jane. Jane is the only girl in her family of five. Her mother is divorced and she has four older brothers. Jane came to me from first grade reading on the level of 5/6 at the beginning of second grade. Which is equivalent to a Level C or Kindergarten reading level. She would drop her pencil on the floor, ramble in her desk trying to find something, go to the bathroom and stay as long as someone doesn’t knock on the door, would wonder around the room, and she was the classroom bully. She bullied all the male figures in her presence. I knew Jane did not understand what was going on in class and this was her escape, bringing attention to her behavior to disguise her academia. I scheduled a conference with her mother (dejavue). When we met, I informed her of her daughter behaviors in the classroom in regards to her academics. Then, I asked her about her home life, another one of those “situated histories” we encounter as teachers on a daily basis in the classroom. Jane’s mother shared with me their home situation. Then I asked her, “who is bullying her at home”. Have you ever heard that old saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words?” If you could see the look on that woman’s face, she looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Then, I said, the reason I asked, who was bullying her at home is because she is bullying the boys in the classroom. Jane’s mother disposition dropped and she shared with me how the boys are making her life at home difficult. They are picking on her, teasing her, and slapping her on the head. This is what she was doing to the boys in the classroom. We finally were able to correct her behavior and her final reading assessment score is 21/22. She is not on grade level, however, she has really come a long way from a reading level of 5/6.

Laurie’s year in second grade was much better than first grade. She noticed that students were being rewarded for their good behavior, so she made a decision to do the accepted thing. However, it seems that the roles reversed from school to home. She was good at school and not at home. Her writing at school flourished as she imagined this perfect life in her head when she believed she was getting a “daddy” that would be there forever to solve all of her problems. Then shattered when he left.

These examples are the examples of our children lives that we teach everyday in our classrooms. The “situated histories,” of a little girl trying to survive and to be successful academically and socially is definitely a challenge within itself. We as educators, MUST find a way to make those differences in the student’s lives we teach. We cannot wave any magical wand to make that difference. We possess the necessary tools to educate them. We are teachers; we know what to do in preparing them academically. However, we must show them compassion, loving, kindness, and understanding for them to be successful in the environment in which they resides.