First of all it broke my heart when I was reading the part about Laurie dreaming of a Prince, a daddy, to come and love her and be with her. I grew up in a very stable home and honestly never wanted for anything. I didn’t have any of these hardships or economic battles to face day in and day out like Laurie and half of the population at the school I currently teach at. This is one area that is hard for me to identify with, which in turn makes it difficult for me to become closer to and understand better the life that many of my students face at home. I hope that by knowing this and being aware that I need to make sure and identify that because of home life things might not always be great at school, I can better understand how to help them. As Laurie tries to cope with trying to make friends while also struggling with her reading I think about my life growing up in school. I didn’t have to worry about what the other kids thought of my academic ability like Laurie does. And because we all know that some kids can be really mean, I can only imagine what all students who struggle with academics have to go through in school.
All of the writing that Laurie was doing in 2nd grade really showed how she thought about everything going on around her and how all of it impacted her so much. I never really realized that in the first years of writing and reading how much of it is about your own experiences because what else do you know? Even make believe stories were stories created from the basis of another book she had read which was an experience for her. I just can’t believe how much influence some of the smallest things can have.
Hicks ending statement, “Teachers have to contend with their own class specific histories and the feelings they evoke, as the girls they teacher learn which kids of fictions will be safe to write, voice, and live in school,” made me reflect upon myself. Do I understand that my upbringing was different than many of my students and just because it is the way that I want to do it doesn’t mean it is the only way? How many times have I told a student that they were doing something wrong when it was the way they knew from experiences of their own. I wish that I could go back to last year now knowing what I know because there was this little girl that needed something. We never could figure out what to do with her because she was as sweet as could be until she wasn’t being watched. She stole, she cussed, she messed her pants, and later we found out it was an abusive situation at home and she has been recently pulled from the home and put back. I would have done so many things different. We tried loving support but that didn’t work, we tried discipline and that didn’t work, and I even tried a behavioral modification program with her and that didn’t work. But now I see that it was the home life she was brought up in and that was what she knew. Her older brother was put into jail for stealing, and her father abused her so she messed her pants, and the cussing well you can only guess where that came from. Hindsight is 20-20 I guess.
I sometimes feel some of this might be stretched just a little to try and make Laurie’s situations fit the roles that Hicks wants them to fit. I mean some of the playing between Laurie and Nicholas or Laurie and Steven could just be normal stages of a young girl’s life to go through. I remember wanting to play house and be the “Mom” and there was nothing wrong with that. Don’t get me wrong I can see where Hicks is coming from, but I just wonder about some of the situations.
Comments (6)
Kristen,
Parts of this chapter almost made me tear up. Maybe I am very emotional right now since I just said goodbye to my special class of Kindergarten students!
I have taught in several schools ranging from Title One to the one I'm in now, which generally speaking it is privileged children who live in upper middle class neighborhoods on the lake. The point is that for thirteen years I have tried to relate to students who sleep on the floor next to space heaters and also to students who have million dollar homes and more in their savings accounts than I have! As a teacher we make a modest salary, nothing extravagant as we all know. This job entails so much more than lessons based on the SCOS. That is what we try to improve upon by taking classes and workshops. How do we become sensitive to the "situated histories" of our students? Yes we realize that students come to us with very different backgrounds, but do we keep that in mind as we prepare for each day? I think that's why I come home so mentally exhausted each day. I take on the excitement, sadness, sense of wonder, joys and pains of my Kindergarten students.
Posted by Renee Pagoota | June 13, 2007 8:39 AM
Posted on June 13, 2007 08:39
Kristen,
Like you, my childhood was great. My parents were married. We attended church regularly, ate dinners together, and did not “need” anything. I grew up in a great environment that was supportive, loving, and secure. My experiences do not line up with my students, either. BUT… I have tried diligently to get more experience. Over the past 5-10 years, I have worked in an urban (inner city) and suburban YMCA summer program, I have tutored students K-12, and I have worked with a boot camp for children and young adults who, generally speaking, are struggling at home and at school. Experience is the best thing we can get, whether we had these experiences in our own lives or not. Don’t beat yourself up about not doing everything you could have last year for that young girl in your classroom. You’re right, hindsight is 20/20. When you were her teacher, you did do EVERYTHING you knew to do. The children you teach in the future will benefit from your experiences with her. You will only get better at dealing with these tough issues. It sounds like you did a great job. You love her and supported her!
Written by
Heather Holland
Posted by Heather Holland | June 13, 2007 9:07 AM
Posted on June 13, 2007 09:07
Kristen, It sounds like you had a difficult situation to deal with last year. That little girl was really going through a difficult time. It is so hard to think about all the times we just don't know what our students have gone through. These students have sometimes had a lifetime worth of abuse before they leave elementary school. It is such a shame that children have to experience such difficult experiences. Hopefully this little girl will learn to control her emotions and get the help that she needs to survive in the world. Hind sight is always 20-20. That is soooo true. Just think if this situation arises again, you will now have the benefit of knowing what to do and strategies to try.
Beth Rigsbee
Posted by Beth Rigsbee | June 13, 2007 4:05 PM
Posted on June 13, 2007 16:05
Kristen,
You sound like a very caring teacher. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had......that's all any of us can do! We learn from our experiences, mistakes and successes. Teaching is so much more than class management and instruction. As teachers, we have the opportunity and the terrifying responsibility of impacting children's lives, of LISTENING to their words AND actions, of working toward compromise and resolution ......mental and emotional exercises which are emotionally demanding of both teacher and student!!! Maybe that's why the job still allows us a few weeks "off" in the summer just to "recharge our batteries!"
Betsy Baldwin
Posted by Betsy Baldwin | June 13, 2007 6:47 PM
Posted on June 13, 2007 18:47
Kristen,
You sound like a wonderful teacher. I know that you did the best you could in this situation. You learned a lot along the way. Now that you have had this experience with this little girl, if this occurs again, you will most definitely know what to do. You will be able to recognize an abusive situation without trying to figure out what in the world is going on. You must remember, what you experienced with this little girl, is an eye opener and knowledge gained.
Posted by Shirley Mathis | June 13, 2007 10:47 PM
Posted on June 13, 2007 22:47
Kristen,
Good to wonder about Hicks's interpretation. I see how Laurie's fantasy play could be "normal" or "typical" for all girls. I think how I interpreted it is that Laurie's socialization is more complicated because of the absence of a father figure. Perhaps her fantasy play looked more urgent, desperate, and intense because she was being socialized to desire male companionship, but it was always absent from her life. Just my thoughts on that.
Alecia
Posted by Alecia Jackson | June 14, 2007 4:50 PM
Posted on June 14, 2007 16:50