RE_5539

After this reading, I couldn't help but think about my own childhood. I have the same "good girl" memories of church, Vacation Bible school, and (I still love it!) Kool Aid. In fact, the memories are so vivid that I can still smell the musty upstairs classroom where my Vacation Bible school class took place. (I loved that smell!) I also remember the strong desire to be a "good girl" to make my mother proud. This desire led me to make alot of "safe" decisions in my life that, looking back, I regret.

My mother never went to college. My grandparents couldn't afford to send their children to college. College, to my mother, was a dream that she would never fulfill. I'm sure that was why it was so important to her that my sister and I attend college. When I graduated from high school, my mother wanted me to attend a community college that offered an extremely limited number of programs. None of these interested me, but this college was my only choice. My mom was afraid for me to "go away" to college. Because she hadn't attended college, she didn't realize that not all colleges and universities were the same. Not wanting to disappoint my mother, I attended the college she chose. It took me almost ten years to return to college and attend the university that I wanted to attend in the first place. My initial "safe" decision took me ten years to "undo."

While reading this chapter, I kep thinking that in our society, especially in the south, the "good girl" image leaves so many girls feeling like they have to please everyone around them. For me it was my mother. It was also my teachers. While this is a good trait in many instances, it is also detrimental. I want my daughter to be a "good girl," but I also want her to be a strong girl who goes after what she wants in life - regardless of my opinion (within reason, of course... hahaha). I want the same for the girls in my classroom. I don't want them to be timid. I want them to have confidence and jump in with both feet, regardless of the consequences.

Laurie made me think of a child I had in my class this year. Her mother warned me about this little girl, I'll call Amy. She said Amy was, basically, a terror who would not follow directions and would disrupt my class. She told me to call her whenever there was a behavior problem and she would "step in" to handle it from home. This conversation made me dread working with the child. I had two children in my class that I was already aware of that had special behavioral challenges. I really didn't want a third. Amy, it turns out, was fine. She was polite in our interactions and was kind with her classmates. I asked her to help in doing various activities in the classroom, which seemed to bolster her self-esteem. The more I gave her to do to help me, the more helpful (and better behaved) she became. It was wonderful! (Her low academic performance also started to improve.) Her mother was shocked to find out about her behavior. To be truthful, I was sad to see the school year end. Amy was such a sweet little girl who thrived on being viewed as a "good girl." Isn't that what all children want?