When reading this chapter, I couldn't help but think of aanother book I read a few months ago called "Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know About the Emerging Science of Sex Differences." (I HIGHLY recommend this book. It provides excellent insight into the thought processes of males and females. It has really changed the way I interact with the boys in my first grade classroom.) Jake was simply thinking like a BOY. Our schools run on middle class norms and are geared toward females in the way their function is carried out. (Can you imagine how frustrating this can be for these boys?) And the fact that the majority of teachers are female further supports this idea. Females think like females. That is a given. We don't understand the "why" behind the things boys (and later on in life, men) do. Jake NEEDED hand-on interaction to learn, as do most males. It's girls who are comfortable sitting at a traditional desk in the classroom doing traditional classroom assignments and carrying them out in the traditional way they've always been carried out. For boys, this is a challenge. I'm not saying all children don't benefit from discovery learning or inquiry, I'm simply saying that boys need this sort of stimulation more often.
I've taught Jake several times over in my classroom. It's challenging, exciting, and frustrating, all at the same time. The challenge is finding ways to keep these boys engaged and active participants in the task at hand. The excitement is watching them become excited about what I'm teaching and what they're learning. (This is most evident when we're working in the organisms unit and we have millipedes in the classroom. Uggh.) The frustration comes when they are more focused on what they'd rather do than the task at hand, which really gives me gray hair.
Children relate strongly to the same-sex parent. Sometimes I think parents don't realize the impact they have on their child(ren) and their outlook and viewpoint in the world. A little boy heartily embraces everything that is his dad. It's only natural that Jake would love NASCAR, carpentry, etc. Children also embrace the expectations of life from these parents. When a formal education isn't an expectation for a "good" life, it becomes something abstract and unnecessary. Jake's dad is one of the people in the world who view higher education in this manner. Unfortunately, when those who are "working class" don't look outside of the box, they limit their children to the same parameters of the lives they created for themselves. This can have an extremely negative impact when this kind of thinking reaching the far end of the spectrum. I had a student in my class in this school year which (mercifully) ended. His home life was, by my own standards, terrible. His father was a self-proclaimed high school dropout. (He bragged about this at open house and said it "never hurt" him.) He informed me that he wouldn't be reading to his child because he "didn't like to read." (I question his own literacy skills and wonder if this was a way hide his own struggle with reading.) This man couldn't keep a job, changing jobs seven times throughout the school year. Life at home was very uncertain. The boy, I'll call Jim, didn't care about school. He wasn't motivated at all, regardless of the activity. The only thing he wanted to do was create things with his hands (like Jake). Eventually Jim became a behavior problem, showing an incredible amount of defiance in every school setting. The parenting skills at home, in my opinion, were extremely lacking. The father was a terrible role model for the future of this child. Jim talked nonstop about growing up to be a mechanic "just like" his dad. Unfortunately he was also doing many other things "just like" his dad (ie: cursing, having a bad attitude toward females, apathy toward school and learning in general, etc). This is obviously the extreme end of the spectrum when it comes to parental role modeling (and an example of the negative depths it can reach). Jake's dad wasn't anything like the father I'm speaking of from my class, but he did exert a large influence on Jake. Jake wanted to be like his dad. He embraced the things his dad did. He enjoyed the things his dad enjoyed. His outlook on life was the same as his dad's outlook on life. He also gained a lack of appreciation for the importance of a higher education. His dad, through no malicious thought, didn't see the value in higher education. He wanted his son to succeed and saw a different way to the goal of success. Isn't this how it is in life for some? Not everyone is created for college. For many it's not interesting and simply not what they want from life. For some a technical school or learning a trade is their choice (sometimes only choice, for whatever reason). Is this only a working class issue? Do upper class families face this same challenge? And how can we better educate parents about their influence, both positive and negative, they exert over their children?
Comments (6)
Hi Jeanna!
Your book sounds interesting; I'll have to read it WHEN I have a spare moment:)I do think that the traditonal classroom is probably more "comfortable" for the female student or teacher. After all, the elementary school classroom in the U.S. has traditonally been the domain of the female educator and it has probably evolved into a setting that reflects the female "mind set" (conjecture on my part).
Many little boys do seem to need the "hands on" approach to learning; however, that was the approach that seemed to appeal to my daughter (more so than to my son who was successful in the traditional formal setting). I agree that the working class "mind set" concerning the practical application of learning was reflected in the account of Jake and his father. I think you are so very correct; however, in noting that view is not the sole perogative of working class students. There are many students, some from middle class and some from the very advantaged families, that are uninterested in academia per se and prefer a "working" education such as a technical skills program. I really think that we, as a society, need to balance our view of education so that we value all forms of such. We can not know what new forms of education might be needed in the future!
Betsy Baldwin
Posted by Anonymous | June 17, 2007 10:16 PM
Posted on June 17, 2007 22:16
Jeanna,
Your post was very interesting. I agree that parents have the greatest impact over their children’s education. There are many examples of very poor families that promoted education above all else and their children made it and there are also plenty of examples that indicate the opposite. I can even use my own family as an example I grew up in a working class family, my parents never talked about college. College was not an expectation as it was in other families. Neither of my two sisters went to college. I do not know what made me determined go. My parents would have provided my sisters with the opportunity if they wanted to go, but they never thought to go. Both of my sisters have done well until recently. My older sister had a very good job, but was laid off two years ago. She has never found comparable employment. The unemployment rate is very high where she lives and she is competing with people who have college degrees. My parents have been supporting her for the past two years financially, and she is 47 years old. I worry about her and try to help her as much as I can, but she lives in Michigan. There is only so much I can do.
You are right when you said that parents need to look outside of their own situation to provide more options for their children. Not everyone is cut out for college, but everyone must have a skill that is their own. In today’s competitive world you must have a skill that separates you from the rest. Parents need to recognize this, so their children do not rely on the same occupation they did. The same occupation may not be available in the years to come.
Parent must be educated to understanding the changing economy, and try to expand their children’s world as much as possible. I do not know what the answer is, but there is a problem. We need to offer more classes like this one, so we can have a forum to address these issues.
Laura Wollpert
Posted by Laura Wollpert | June 18, 2007 10:11 AM
Posted on June 18, 2007 10:11
I too wonder how to work with parents to help them understand the changing economy. Ersking Bowles, president of the UNC system, named the new economy a "knowledge economy." If this is the case, then post-secondary education (trade school, university, etc) is going to be crucial for boys and girls alike, regardless of race and class.
Posted by Alecia | June 18, 2007 2:08 PM
Posted on June 18, 2007 14:08
Great questions! I'm especially intrigued by your last question..."And how can we better educate parents about their influence, both positive and negative, they exert over their children?" What a great topic for a parent conference! I think that this would be the place to discuss this issue, although extremely challenging and difficult.....but appropriate. Parents just might not know how much they influence their children. If we opened their eyes to it, they might start changing their behavior and attitude about learning. Many parents had bad experiences in school, so they assume it will be the same for their children....so, their kids think this way as well. I wonder if teachers had this conversation with parents, if it would help? Something to think about. Good post!
Posted by Andrea Lehman | June 18, 2007 2:57 PM
Posted on June 18, 2007 14:57
Jeanna,
I believe I'm going to get the book you suggested. It is amazing how males and females are so different and especially in their thinking. I heard a speaker say that if he walked into a kindergarten classroom that a male taught in that it would be different from a classroom that a female taught in. Just the books alone would be different. There would definitely be books that boys were interested in.
I've also taught Jakes and it is challenging. What a challenge to have a dad in your classroom that you were talking about. Parents need to realize that they have a great influence on their children. Children do relate well to the same-sex parent. I wish dads especially would realize this. Boys look up to their dads. They look at what they do, how they treat people,etc. If dads would be role models for reading in their homes, I believe this would have an impact on boys. They would see the importance of it. I had a boy in my kindergarten class this year who read well above grade level. Both of his parents were professionals and I know they worked with him at home before entering kindergarten. He loved to read. I never asked but I wonder if he saw both Mom and Dad reading at home.
Posted by Dawn Thomas | June 18, 2007 3:18 PM
Posted on June 18, 2007 15:18
Hi Jeanna!
What great questions you raised! Thanks for the tip on the book and how great that you are a step ahead in learning more about dealing with the kids in your classroom. Very proactive! Your comment about there being very different ways and views of success gave me pause to think. Maybe not everyone is cut out for college or has the financial ability to attend. This doesn't mean that they are not smart and talented in their own way. Sometimes I think we lose sight of the fact that we are still going to need those mechanics and garbage men and road crews in the future. Someone said recently that those people will be able to name their own price one of these days because we push higher education so hard. I think the thing we need to remember in teaching our students like Jake is that he can be successful in other ways and not just academically. Unfortunately we as teachers have a different idea for them and working against them and their parents as you put it "gives us gray hair". Maybe we need to realize that it is our job but we can't make it happen for all of them. As my husband often says to me "Honey, you can't save them all!" Maybe they don't really need saving.
Posted by Sara Joyce | June 18, 2007 8:37 PM
Posted on June 18, 2007 20:37