A man may work from sun to sun...
But women's work is never done.
The Quinn article reminded me of this old adage describing the near-constant demands on women, regardless of occupation -- but particularly those women who work in a helping profession such as teaching, nursing, or counseling, or even as a homemaker. We are expected to be caretakers for our students, patients, clients, parents, children, partners, and so on. As a new mom, I am learning the great responsibility that comes with the ability to bear children. My husband is wonderful and always willing to help, but it is solely my responsibility, around the clock, to make sure my daughter is fed. I am allowed maternity leave from work, while my husband had to return almost immediately. My baby and I spent 9 months getting to know each other, before she even took her first breath. This kind of relationship is a blessing that only I have experienced with her, but also a challenging obligation, compared to the freedom and uninterrupted sleep I once had. I will forever be responsible for this child.
All of us, men and women alike, have demands put on us by occupation, society, nature, or by our own choice. Women are certainly not the only ones to suffer the strain of multiple designated roles and guidelines, but we often find ourselves with less power to change the ones we don't like. Quinn and her female students discussed the negative aspects of their daily lives as teachers, mothers, wives, and daughters, but they really didn't address the benefits and pleasures of filling these same roles. The stress they felt seemed to come not from the roles themselves, but from the energy expense of carrying out the balancing acts that are their Cosmopolitan Selves, day after day. Perhaps a more balanced exploration of the feminine experience might assist in the process of empowerment that Quinn encouraged. Knowing what and who are "for" us is as helpful as knowing what we struggle against.
marisa
Comments (4)
Marisa, your thoughts are interesting ones to consider. When I spoke of my burnout situation from my teaching career and needed to step out for a while, it was not so easy leaving teaching, my friends and collegues, my little ones, and my title. To not have a job was hard for me because I always had the title of teacher (mom, aunt, etc). In our society, women are used to have a title of some sort so when I left teacher I missed so much of the teacher's life. I missed community. I missed (free) paper copying. I missed the excitement oozing from little children. I missed even the gossip that surrounds a school. However, I really missed the contribution a teacher gives to society. I did make a difference to my students and their parents and I felt that loss tremendously. And so, to balance the negative things about teachers, I loved teaching and my life as a teacher. I would have worked harder and longer hours if I needed to but my body wouldn't me. My heart is forever a teacher. So thanks for reminding us to think positively on the impact teachers make!
Posted by Diane | July 1, 2009 5:04 PM
Posted on July 1, 2009 17:04
I think Marisa gets at something we tend to do as humans- focus more of our energy on the negative or the parts of our lives that we would like to be different. If I truly do a bit of introspection I realize I focus a lot of energy right now on what I am NOT able to get done at work or school. I see all the things that aren't getting done at home by me (gardening, painting, etc.). Instead of doing this what if I spend some time celebrating that I have a good job (when there are so many who do not), a wonderful husband, good health, plenty to eat, friends, opportunities,etc. The list could go on. Just writing this has put the day in proper persepctive and boosted my attitude.
Posted by Christy Forrest | July 1, 2009 8:00 PM
Posted on July 1, 2009 20:00
I definitely hear you. I guess biology has played a role in guiding our socially constructed gender roles. The pressure on women is constant, to do all of the things we have come to expect and at the end of the day have a smile on her face. I believe that one important step for which we should all advocate is equal leave for parents. If men were allowed by society to step up and really father then that may help wommen out. Now I am talking long-term, but our laws should reflect the future we want to see, not just comfortable fit the conventions of the past.
Posted by Alan | July 2, 2009 9:18 AM
Posted on July 2, 2009 09:18
I really like the idea of feminist criticism based on what women do well and in unique ways. I don't think middle-aged white men have achieved the access and favor that they have solely because they criticized and dialogued about how hard their multiple roles are. There is something of a lesson in the machismo or bravado that is the trademark of most highly successful white men. Where did their hubris come from? Where is our machisma or confidence as women who are great nurturers and great thinkers and great innovators etc?
Posted by Danielle | July 2, 2009 9:55 AM
Posted on July 2, 2009 09:55