I really connected to Chapters 3 & 4. I didn’t have a “normal” family life growing up with a mom, a dad, brothers and sisters, a dog and a white picket fence. While my mother was the only one of 11 children to graduate from high school, she didn’t have much education beyond that. My father graduated from college and was a pharmacist; however, he was killed in an automobile accident when I was only three days old. My mother never remarried, so I was an only child raised by a single mother earning a working class wage. She had the burden of being both mom and dad to me, taking care of the house, the yard, the car, and the bills, and the responsibilities wore on her constantly. Somehow through all the turmoil in my young life, I managed to do well in school and graduate with honors in the top ten of my high school class. My mother provided well for me, sometimes working two jobs, and was able to send me to college. Because I saw how hard my mom worked, I tried to please her by making good grades, staying out of trouble and wanting to become successful in life.
I spent a lot of time at the sitter’s house or home alone growing up, so I didn’t have a lot of encouragement to complete my homework in the earlier grades. By the time my mom got home from work, even though she was exhausted, she would begin to prepare a meal for us or tend to the yard work and my school work took a backseat. By the time I hit middle school, it clicked and I knew I had to do better in school and focus more on important things. I knew I didn’t want to have to work like my mom. My mother and I had a close relationship except for the teen years when I began to rebell. Yet, she stood firm behind me, and I always knew her expectations.
Like Laurie, I was shaped by my caretakers. I stayed in a private home during my early elementary years with a lady who kept lots of other children. Most children tend to pick up on the language, habits, and values of those who are taking care of us, and I am sure I did as well. These caretakers spend far more waking hours with us than our parents and are our first teachers. Behaviors are typically learned from observing others and it stands to reason that a child’s approach to literacy learning would be modeled after that of his/her parents or caregivers.
Chapter 4 was heart-breaking. Poor Laurie! She wanted to fit in so bad. She struggled socially and academically. I have seen girls like Laurie in my classroom. Most often there isn’t a strong family support network behind them. As for her being labeled ADD, I wonder, would she be medicated if she lived in a different environment? Hicks felt that Laurie was reacting to stressful material and her emotions.
While I understand that being a single parent is tough, I was raised by a single mother too. Maybe we need to reevaluate the system, the system where the government provides more money for more babies born out of wedlock. Perhaps education classes, parenting classes, birth control and job training would be a better use for our tax dollars. On page 64 Hicks says, “Amid the economic and child care stresses faced by the adults, Laurie’s needs and interests were sometimes lost.” Parenting is difficult, yet, anyone can have as many children as they want without a license and without training. Situations such as this are a viscous cycle that keeps repeating. We must do a better job caring for our children; they are the future.
Karen Chester
Comments (5)
Karen,
Good for you going to college and graduate school! I'm sure you've made your mama very proud! I agree with you, a student's homelife has a huge impact on learning in school. We follow the footsteps of the people we are around. Our caretakers have such a huge impact on the way we act, think, and live. I know Laurie's learning often got put on the back burner at home because her mama was struggling just to make ends meet. As teachers, we need to know about these kinds of things occuring in the lives of our students at home. We need to help students feel comfortable in our classrooms and be there to talk to them if they need to (we may be the only people who really talk to our students). As far as Laurie's ADD goes, I wonder if she would have been better off without ADD medicine? It almost seems like her mama put her on medicine to calm her down at home. Hicks writes how she did better without medicine at school. I had a child in my classroom this year whose mama was convinced had ADD. She sent in the paperwork for me to fill out from the doctor for ADD. This child was one of the calmest, agreeable, hard working students in my classroom. I think some parents go the ADD route to help themselves with what they may lack in discipline.
~Jamie Brackett
Posted by Jamie Brackett | June 23, 2010 10:30 PM
Posted on June 23, 2010 22:30
Karen, no matter how good we as a society try to make our kids' lives, they will still come to school with something that influences their literacy and their learning. I think we could take the example of Laurie and compare her to some students I have taught in the past who came with every advantage possible. These kids came from wealthy two-parent homes and were given everything possible when it came to their education. They had support and good role models. Unfortunately, they had to deal with their own family and societal discourses that come from growing up upper middle class. These dicourses reflected entitlement,instant gratification, and high parental expectations. My point is, no matter what we do to fix the problems of our society (and I do agree with you there needs to be changes), kids will always need us to understand who they are and what they bring to the table when they arrive in our classrooms.
Posted by Sally Elliott | June 24, 2010 2:04 PM
Posted on June 24, 2010 14:04
Let’s step on a few more… As my husband always says “you should never have more children than you have hands to hold them". When I was younger I always wanted to have four children. This was a young girl's fantasy world and as I grew older I realized that it would take a lot of hard work just to care for one or two. I had two and worked very hard to provide for them. They do not have the same fairy tale ideas that I had, because I grounded them in the reality of "life is not always fair, so you better work a little harder than the next girl". In a perfect world we would have more responsible parents, but we must live in the present and oh yeah make sure you have a license for you dog!
Elizabeth Achor
Posted by Elizabeth Achor | June 24, 2010 5:53 PM
Posted on June 24, 2010 17:53
My mother and father were both working-class individuals who spent most of their adult lives in hosiery mills, much like most of the people who lived around me. One thing that I remember being different about my family, however, was that my dad helped with things that were usually considered "woman's work," such as washing clothes, cooking, etc. He would cook breakfast each morning and he'd also cook Sunday lunch. (That was an excuse he used for staying home from church - "Somebody's gotta have food on the table when you get home!")
I also remember my friends saying they would get grounded if they didn't keep their grades up. This was always puzzling for me because my parents never said anything like that. They would always tell me, "Do the best you can. If you do that, then we can't be upset with you." While I was glad that the threat of being grounded wasn't being held over my head, that comment always used to infuriate me because I considered it to be very vague. How would I know what my best was? At the time, I think I would have much rather preferred for them to say something like, "We want you to make all A's." Like you, I ended up doing very well in school, but part of me wonders what would have happened if I had actually made a C or a D in class. Would my parents' attitude have changed?
Lastly, I wanted to comment on your point about children adopting the attitudes, values, etc. of their caregivers. It is always amusing to me when I hear one of my expressions come out of one of my student's mouths or when parents relay a story about their child and tell me that the student told them, "Well, Mr. Rice said . . ." It makes you realize the power you have in these young people's lives.
Posted by Clyde Rice | June 25, 2010 12:35 PM
Posted on June 25, 2010 12:35
Your story was powerful. I am so glad that you were able to accomplish your goals. I felt the same way about Laurie's ADD diagnosis. I wonder if it was just something to benefit her mother at home. Usually the teacher is the one that recognizes the signs, but the teacher didn't seem top be too concerned.
Posted by Odessa Scales | June 27, 2010 6:42 PM
Posted on June 27, 2010 18:42