As I read the first two chapters of our text my mind kept coming back to a boy I had in one of my classes this year. He was in In-School-Suspension the last half of the year more than he was in my class. He rarely showed any interest in school or wanting to learn. I, along with his other teachers, had many problems with his behavior all year long. Would he ever get it? Will he learn how to control himself, his mouth, and his actions?
Every morning when he would come into my room to ask for work we would have a little chat. I would ask him questions like: Why do you behave like this? Is this acceptable behavior at school? Do I talk like that to you? Is your behavior at school acceptable at home? He would just shrug his shoulders, look at the ground, and never answer my questions. I met his mother at the beginning of the year and learned his father was in prison. As the year went on I learned a lot more about his home life and began to understand why this boy behaved like he did. I understood why he never answered my questions.
I understand the circle. I understand if you grow up in a working class family then you will more than likely become a working class family. I used to be a social worker and have seen that circle too often. Its power is all-encompassing. I mean, if you don’t know that anything better exists, then why should you alter your path? I think this is where we as teachers can lightly step and influence. On the last day of school this boy that had caused so many problems all year asked me to sign his yearbook. He said, “Mrs. Wagoner please write something nice.” And to be honest, I had a hard time coming up with something nice. After I had signed his yearbook I asked him to sit with me for a minute. I told him he had the power to change his life path. He responded with, “It runs in the family.” I said no. I told him he could choose any path he wanted. I told him how smart he was, and by using his brain to make good choices in his journey, he could be more. As of right now, he is stuck in the circle. He, like so many other of my students, is living with the same family mentioned in the text – Jake and LeAnn. But he can be so much more.
My point is although we all have many discourses in life, we can choose which ones to accept and which ones to reject. And as teachers we can influence our students in numerous ways. They might not take our words to heart at the moment, but I’m sure each one of us can think back to a teacher we had that changed our discourse. Perhaps not at that moment in time, but it is a teacher, or person, we hold dear in our heart for helping us on our life journey.
Jennifer Wagoner
Comments (6)
Thank you for being that role model I think teachers should be. Often if a kid behaves this way- there are underlying issues- usually homelife. He probably did not see that there was a way out of this cycle and felt trapped. Thank you for helping him to see that he can make a difference. I grew up in a middle class home but my brother and I are totally different. I chose a different path than him. My involved education and his involved bad choices. Luckily, after ten horrible years, he has been able to break his cycle too. I share his story sometimes with troubled kids and let them know that I care for them and do not want to see them make these choices. I also let them know that it is hard to get back on the right path but there are people who can help if they decide to change. I really try to be a positive voice for some of these children who do not have one at home. I know it is easy to follow the other teachers and complain about the student, but I try to be the one that can make a difference. Thank you for also taking that extra step.
Amy Reep
Posted by Amy Reep | June 20, 2010 6:07 PM
Posted on June 20, 2010 18:07
You mentioned a good point that there is a belief among the poor that fate and destiny control their lives. Ruby Paine talks about it in her book A Framework for Understanding Poverty. The problem with this belief in fate is that it totally ignores personal choice and responsibility. For many people in this situation the link between action and consequence is obscure. They reap the consequences of their actions again and again, falling into the same behavior patterns while relying on extended family or public welfare to help straighten everything out. I have seen it time and time again; parents who love their children and want better for them, but lack the discipline and selflessness to better their situation. Parents who, despite tough childhoods, cannot break out of the pattern of behaviors set by their own parents which they in turn teach to their children. It is so important that we show and teach students another way to be. I firmly believe that our students can break the cycle or drugs, violence and poverty. They have a choice how they will live and whose values and lifestyles they will emulate. Our job is to expose them to a united discourse that values human life, is disciplined and hard working, and is motivated to improve.
-Rebecca Ashby
Posted by Rebecca Ashby | June 20, 2010 6:24 PM
Posted on June 20, 2010 18:24
You made so many good points in your post. We have to be role models for these students because we may the only good thing in their lives at this time. I have had several behavior problems in my two years of teaching and the crazy thing is-usually their siblings are remembered by older teachers at the school by having behavior problems. In a way the children are already stigmatized by being labeled as "a behavior problem" or whatever it may be just because their siblings stand out so much in your mind by the things they did. We are human so we cannot help but feel this way. But it sounds like you really made a difference in this child's life. You may not see it at the time and he may not see it, but he will remember you in the future and remember you having those talks with him! I know it is so hard to be nice to kids who have driven you crazy for so long, but I guess being a teacher takes PATIENCE! Obviously he respects you thought because he knew you believed in him and actually did have something nice you could say about him in his yearbook!
Katy Dellinger
Posted by Katy Dellinger | June 20, 2010 9:20 PM
Posted on June 20, 2010 21:20
Choosing what discourses we want to be a part of is solely our decision, but all the other factors we come in contact with affect our decisions. Even as adults we have peer pressure, and students face even more pressure each day with new challenges. Its crazy how even as adults we are pressured in situations of the discourses in our lives. I am not sure of all the pressures every child faces, but knowing that adults have challenges they face and must make decisions on what they need to do (CHOICES). How can a child without proper support and up bringing begin to make an acceptable decision when they are still babies themselves? What can we do as teachers to help make chlidren understand their choices without hurting their spirit?
Meredith
Posted by Meredith Bromley | June 20, 2010 10:11 PM
Posted on June 20, 2010 22:11
Jennifer, you helped me to remember that we never know what a child has lived through before they have gotten to us. Some children go through more before the age of 12, than any of us should ever have to deal with. Taking the time to talk to your student had a forever impact on him, I'm sure. I agree with you that there is a circle of life but I still don't understand why some people can remove themselves from the circle and some people do not. Is it a choice? I find myself confused by how children can be raised by the same parents in the same situation and view education totally different. I have two sons. One loves school and reading. He excels in the classroom. My other son would rather have his head stapled to a bulletin board than read. He is a good reader, does extremely well on his EOG's, but hates every minute of school. Does that come from the environment where they have been raised or has something happened in their educational worlds that have made them form these attitudes?
Posted by Carol Sherrill | June 22, 2010 12:50 PM
Posted on June 22, 2010 12:50
I enjoyed your posting very much and I beleive that you were right to point out that like is choice. I agree with you that life can be circular but if people take note and give concern a persons dicourse can be dramatically changed. It often does involve a teacher looking deeper.
Posted by Candy Mooney | June 22, 2010 8:26 PM
Posted on June 22, 2010 20:26