Just My Thoughts
Thank you, Dr. Jackson, for explaining the more difficult concepts in the podcast. Even after listening to your excerpt and taking notes, I still had a difficult time reading and comprehending all I read in chapter 2. I do think I understand what a discourse is now. I, like you, like you am the only one in my family to go to college. When I visit my grandparents especially, even though we live just 15 minutes apart, I have to become a hybrid. They watch lots of television, go out only when necessary, and their pride is their dog. They do not like to travel and never go to art museums or plays. They believe that such items are frivolous and wasteful. I am totally opposite. We travel any chance we get. I can lose myself in an art museum for an entire day and my family plans things around local community theaters. When we visit them we never speak of the things that matter to us, only what is in the world of my grandparents.
I think that children when I went to school definitely switched discourses between home and school. Now, however, I feel that some students have one discourse that they believe is appropriate for either place. Some mornings I will come in and find students with their feet up on their desks. When I ask if they put their feet on their kitchen table, the answer is yes- why? They now question anything that the teacher says to them or make smart comments when replying to a teacher, as they would a parent. I have heard these same students talk to their parents and demand that they bring them sneakers for p.e. instead of asking, or tell them things that make my mouth drop. I think that there should be some sort of discourse between home and school.
I am not sure if other students feel this way, but I have noticed in the articles that we have read that family is the main unit for most things. I like to think that is true of my family, but I see that it is not the way which I would like it to be. My husband is often gone with the military and I try to keep my son occupied while he is gone. I do understand that the things we are doing, art museums, zoos, cultural centers, sports, libraries, and such all add to his literacy but often I feel like my family gets the short end of the stick when it comes to active attention. Most nights I would give anything to spend laying out under the stars and telling stories, but often there are too many other things going on, like ball games or swim practice. I fell that America as a whole is in the same situation. I think that we need to step away from this and take lessons from other cultures that still place family first. I find it refreshing to read the articles that talk about the importance of family in their lives, especially the two American Indians children and the Sudanese Lost Boys. Just my thoughts.
Amy Reep
Comments (5)
Amy, I understand the frustration with some of our students coming to school with the same discourse they have at home. I think our challenge is to teach then that although they may be allowed to do a certain behavior at home, at school it is not acceptable. I have had that problem with the language some of my students use at school, not appropriate. I continually tell my students that at school we do it this way or not that way. Sometimes it seems like a losing battle but I do get through to a few of them. Some kids seem to already know what's appropriate when and others don't seem to have a clue. Maybe we have to be the ones to help them know the difference so they will be able to succeed wherever they are. That's a real challenge!
Posted by Linda Bohland | June 20, 2010 1:53 PM
Posted on June 20, 2010 13:53
Amy,
Your point about children thinking that there is a common discourse between home and school made me think about something my assistant and I have often discussed with one another - the use of "What?" in response to an adult calling you, as opposed to "Yes, sir?" or "Yes, ma'am?" When I was growing up, I did not have to deal with the formalities of saying "sir" or "ma'am" to my parents. They would have thought it was odd if I did. They were fine with me simply saying, "Yes?" or "What?" If my dad was in a bad mood, he would sometimes say something if I answered with "What?", but that happened very infrequently. With teachers, however, I did use the more formal terms on a regular basis. My assistant, however, was expected to use the more formal terms to address ANYONE older. When our students are talking to us, I don't mind when a student says, "What?" to me as long as they aren't using an aggravated tone when doing so. My assistant, however, usually corrects the student and will say, "You don't say, 'What?' You say, 'Yes, ma'am?'" I am not sure if our difference in opinion on this matter has more to do with our respective races, being raised in the city vs. the country, or our particular families. I wouldn't say age has anything to do with it because we are just four years apart in age.
Clyde Rice
Posted by Clyde Rice | June 20, 2010 2:12 PM
Posted on June 20, 2010 14:12
Amy,
Reading your post struck a nerve with me. I also see students treating the school environment with disrespect by putting their feet on the desks, sitting on the tables in the cafeteria, and defacing the stalls in the restroom. When you ask them if they behave that way at home, often the answer is yes. There doesn't seem to be a different discourse for school.
Seemingly, parents have lost control. This is magnified even greater when the school will discipline a student for inappropriate behavior only to have the parent at your classroom door the next morning demanding an apology for correcting their child.
Posted by Karen Chester | June 20, 2010 3:31 PM
Posted on June 20, 2010 15:31
Amy,
I wanted to comment on the point you made about other cultures which still put family first. In a related issue I think that often as parents we have our kids involved in so many things (sports and lessons of one kind or another) that families are left with very little time together. I think many times parents (myself included) are trying to do what is best for their kids by having them involved in something, but ultimately they are sacrificing time that they could be spending together. Don't get me wrong, I think it is wonderful for a child to be involved in something they enjoy, whether that is baseball, dance, gymnastics or whatever. I think the problem occurs when every spare moment is spent at a game or practice and there is little time for the family to just be together and talk or play. I was raised on a tobacco farm in Surry County (and no I do not smoke!). We worked on that farm together as a family, which I think is part of the reason my family remains close knit to this day. It was very hard work and we stayed very busy, but we did it together. We didn't run around from one place to another all the time, we were together and we talked. I see a trend in families that reflects the societal trend that we have to be going and doing something all the time. I,like you, think it is important our children have time to learn from parents, not just be on the go all the time.
Posted by Marcia Smith | June 22, 2010 11:43 AM
Posted on June 22, 2010 11:43
Amy,
I agree that students do not have different discourses at home and at school. I try and teach my students the appropriate way to act/talk away from home. I've even told them that even though they may do something at home, it may not be OK to do that same thing away from home. I also have them say, "Yes m'am/sir." I think it's important for children to learn respectful ways to address others- this may be from my Southern roots, though.
As for spending time with family...I agree with you. Speaking from my own personal experience, my husband is a firefighter. He works a 24-hours on, 48-hours off shift and then has a part-time job he works for 10 hours on the days he's off. This makes it hard for us to spend time together as a family due to his schedule. At first my girls didn't understand why Daddy wasn't able to eat Thanksgiving meal with us- he was at the fire station. As they've grown older, they see it as a part of our life. We, however, treasure the time we do get to spend together- especially the 2 weeks each summer at the beach of uninterrupted time from firefighting.
Marsha Warren
Posted by Marsha Warren | June 22, 2010 3:44 PM
Posted on June 22, 2010 15:44