RES 5535: Race, Class, and Gender in Literacy Research (summer 2010)

Maria,
You ask some great questions. I think that the author did loose and gain. I think that she lost some of her childhood; she had to be constantly reminded and constantly on guard to what she said and how she said it and she did not have time to just speak. I think that she gained a lot from her English. She was given a greater ability to learn "correct" English and because of that she was able to succeed. She was a member of a television production company and now she is an author.

Do you think she would have been given those opportunities had she not learned the English dialect? What do you think?

Isn't it a parent's role to push their children in certain directions? Of course we buy them certain toys and books. We want them to turn out just like us, or better. I think that is why the author pushed her daughter to speak properly. We all want the best for our children. And our children are going to rebel and find themselves as they get older. We may not like the choices they make along the way, but giving them a strong foundation to leap from is key. I believe that is what the author did with her daughter.

I agree that it is a parents role to push their child to succeed but pushing too hard is going to make a child feel like they are not good enough. I recently had my first child. I sit with him for hours. We play and sometimes I just look at him and wonder what his life will be like. Of course there are certain books and toys that I will buy for him but I will also allow him to make choices too. Being a good parent means showing and telling your child why something is so important or why things are the way they are so they can understand and make informed choices. I can't wait to watch him grow and change. I want him to go to college and have a career, family, etc...but I want him to go to the college of his preference, select the career that he wants and marry someone that he loves.

I think that is the choice the author should have made for her daughter and the point that Maria was making. Providing the foundation and understanding would allow the child to make a better choice and one that was right for her. I think in the end, she found the balance she needed but her mother was not there anymore to see!

In a personal development workshop I took a little over five years ago, the instructor made a comment I had never really thought about. She said that a common mistake people make is that they see their parents as all-knowing, infallible individuals who absolutely made the correct choices for their children when they were growing up. While it is understandable for a child to think this way, many adults still feel this same way about their parents. They don't give thought to the notion that their parents were just human beings trying to make the best decisions they could at the time. I don't think any of us would claim to be perfect, but we often think of our parents as such.

It stands to reason that a parent would want a better life for his/her child. One would think that he/she would pursue what he/she sees as necessary to achieve this better life for a child. For Dowdy's mom, this meant making sure the child knew how to speak the Queen's English. I don't think that Dowdy can fault her mom for this decision, even thought it may not have been the one Dowdy would have chosen for herself. If Dowdy had not learned how to use the Queen's English, she doesn't know, and will never know, how her life may have been different than it is today. It may have been better, it may have been worse, or it may have simply been different.

My mom has told me the story about how she had planned to go with her sister and work for the FBI after she graduated from high school. Instead, she stayed in rural Caswell County, married my dad, and worked in a hosiery mill for close to 40 years. I often wonder what my life would be like today if that had happened. It's one of those things I'll never know. I just have to accept that my parents made the decisions that they did and I have to do what I can to make the best of the life I have been dealt.

Clyde Rice

I do think that Dowdy gained and lost at the same time. As parents it is our job to push our children we want the best for them! Dowdy mother felt that the best for her was to speak proper British English. I do not think that she would have been as successful in her life if her mother had not pushed her. I also think that their needs to be a balance. Parents should give their children the right to be themselves and make choices of their own. I do not believe that Dowdy was given that opprotunity as a child therefore she missed out on part of her childhood and what she saw all others doing. I do believe that she was angry with her mother for missing childhood memories and that filling of acceptance that all child seek.

I think that she did gain form the language experience she had. Even though she did lose some "friendships" as a child, didn't we all. We all experience things, both positive and negative, as a child that impact us. What we do after the experience helps shape our future She had choices, like her siblings, and she choose to conform to the expectations that she now deplores I think that her mom did not understand how upset she was over this I wander if her mother even knows how her daughter felt as a child. I am sure that she did have positive aspects of her childhood that were not included in the article. As adults we all have parts of our childhood that we would like to go back and change. I think that this is one that she would like to change now that she is older.
Amy Reep