RE_5539

Heather Holland

Laurie was faced with similar circumstances that my students face. She was expected to be a “good girl”. When she could not be a “good girl”, and control herself, she was labeled—ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Why are school institutions so quick to label? As a relatively new teacher, I wonder why we, as a society, must label EVERYTHING! If someone does not act how he/she is expected to act, then there must me something wrong. I find this so difficult to swallow. When I was an undergrad student, I was expected to value differences, and teach the child. I was supposed to accommodate and make adaptations for the learner. These were the “best practices” that I was taught and expected to follow. Never did a professor tell me that I needed to make the child fit into a mold. However, in the educational setting, if the teacher does not know how to “deal with the child” or educate him/her, the teacher must have the child tested. Why?! I get so upset when this happens. There are definite circumstances where children need medication, but with Laurie? I think she needed some behavioral modifications, some counseling per say, or maybe just an accepting teacher who was willing to understand. Learning to become a “good girl” or “good boy” is expected in our society. Yes, teachers want students to know how to behave and respect others, but we (teachers) must admit that many of us expect kids to meet certain criteria—like walk in a straight line, sit up in the chair with both feet on the floor, and use your indoor voice. These are expectations that I have in my room, but for some children, simply sitting up straight in their seat with both feet on the floor is an absolutely unmanageable task. For these children that do not fit the mold, I make adaptations.

I feel that Laurie’s educational experiences were compromised by our society’s impatient or maybe even lazy way of dealing with behavioral issues. In my opinion, Laurie’s gaping wound that needed to be sewn up was fixed with a small Band-Aid, leaving her with a BIG ugly scar. Laurie definitely had issues at home that were festering in the school setting. Because these issues were never dealt with effectively or at all, she faced enormous challenges at school. So often, home experiences spill over into school experiences. Are we educating the “school child” or the “whole child”? If we were just educating the “school child” then we would assume that a child’s life at school and a child’s life at home are mutually exclusive. This is just not true. Both experiences are intertwined and must be approached as a whole.

“She was learning deceit at home and the value of being quiet at school.” pp. 79, 80.

Because of the environment at home, children often choose to act out in different ways. In my experience, have seen some children act out at home for their parents and then be the “good girl” or boy at school. Parents are often surprised if their child is better at school. They frequently want to share with me comments about their child’s poor behavior at home. I think that I have a structured environment at school with high (manageable) expectations. Most children can find success in my classroom with regards towards behavior. This makes me wonder if a child’s behavior is poor at home, and great at school…is the family unit organized, structured, fostering of a healthy environment. With Laurie, I wonder if she saw much order at home. She spent many hours at a Laundromat that her grandmother managed. The atmosphere provided for her, there, does not seem conducive to a first or second grader’s imagination, needs, or desires. Could this be why Laurie has discovered how to “work the system” both at school and at home? She desires attention at home and doesn’t get it, so she acts out—trying to be noticed. At school, because she is not successful with her academics, she seeks approval and attention from the teachers by being a “good girl”. This kind of positive behavior is working for her now, but I have to wonder if the good behavior will continue as she grows older.

It broke my heart as I read and reread parts of this chapter because so often I see these same scenarios in little girls’ lives that I teach. I want to be the accepting, supportive, and fostering factor in their lives, but will this be enough? I wonder about Laurie. She continued to struggle and retention was still a topic on the table. Is she stuck in a working-class cycle that will never end because of its reoccurring scenarios?

Written by
Heather Holland