RES 5530: Race, Class, and Gender in Literacy Research (Spring 2009)

"The question is not what you look at, but what you see." -Henry David Thoreau
These twelve words have been etched on my brain since I first read them last week. I wanted to reference them in my post last week, but knew I had to address those chapters first. These words were a swift kick in my posterior. I believe there has been some deep crevasses of dissonance between what I look at and what I really should see in students. My vision has been rather cloudy in terms of some of my students. My teacher talk to them has not addressed potential, but rather echoed ineptness or lack of a desired outcome. In the place of patience, short-temperedness and low expectation may have taken up residence. How are my words really heard by my students? Do they walk in knowing there is universal acceptance, or do they pick up on an edge in my tone towards certain students? I struggle mightily with one of my students this year. He has not undergone formal testing, but exhibits behaviors that some suggest lend themselves towards Asberger's Syndrome. I do not see that, but rather I see a sneaky, lack of effort attitude that I believe he is very well able to control. He is also an only child who has never been given much responsibility outside of school. I know I speak to him differently than my other students. I do not "get" him. I think I need a topsy-turvy. This student is definitely the epitome of Kohl's quote," They often ignore the words and listen for the tone." I believe his parents, while willing to listen to my suggestions and observations, rather expect our school to "fix" him.
I start our year focusing on the power of our words, we begin on day one with examples of positive and negative words in literature, in real life examples, anywhere we can find them. So, while this is such a backbone of our environment, I as the teacher, struggle with the power of my words in the life of this student. So, instead of damaging words, I have found myself fall into the luxury of silence, offering no enthusiastic praise or corrective instruction.
This quote just hit me off my feet in regards to this student. I have been so focused on "looking" at his faults or struggles, that I have been neglecting to see the total child. That has been my focus this week. I want to truly "see" this child, to build connection, to exchange communication that will enhance his learning experience and our learning environment. Well, it is the end of my first week and it is full of promise. While our week was only three and a half days long due to snow, I am encouraged. My boy recalled a detail from Frecklejuice yesterday! Previously, I have been concerned with his comprehension and connecting the words into intelligent thoughts. This boy provided an answer unsolicited, he blurted out! Yes, he was not just a body mass occupying space. This outburst, if you will, may be the result of extra attention greeting him in the morning and attempting to accentuate the positive I see in him. Not false praise, but genuine acknowledgement of a desired outcome. This student is part of my attunement as a teacher. It is easy when the class is motivated and engaged. It is teaching when practice, thought, and deliberate action is necessary each moment. The Kohl chapter was a huge wake up call to me, this student hasn't changed since the first day of school, but I believe my vision of him is starting to. Clouds are lifting in front of me, my nearsightedness is diminishing and clear vision is rapidly approaching.
Stefoni Shaw