RES 5530: Race, Class, and Gender in Literacy Research (Spring 2009)

"There are times in life when the question of knowing if one can think differently than one thinks, and perceive differently than one sees, is absolutely necessary if one is to go on looking and reflecting at all." -Michel Foucault
As I write this quote, I have The Byrds song "Turn, Turn, Turn" traveling through my head. This is what this class has caused me to do. Just as the quote suggests there will arise a time when a question will be posed. Are my ideas about learning, about language, about connection fluid, ever willing to be changed and adapted to meet the needs of the children I have been entrusted with? Or are my attitudes and convictions static, unwavering in their fervor, perceiving understanding by how something looks, rather than uncovering its reality? I must truthfully reveal that I unfortunately hang my hat more often in the realm of the perceived rather than the realm of possibilities. When we first read in the Delpit book about Ebonics, I had a very hard time understanding the relevance of such a language. I found it foolish, a distraction from the "king's english" that should be required of everyone. Now, however many weeks and readings later, I am ashamed of my intolerance and narrowmindedness. This class has caused me to ask myself if I am willing to think differently. Where do my formulas for language, its acquistion and use derive from? Am I only regurgitating information and suggestions I have gleaned from my own schooling or personal experiences? Have I ever given thought to personal stories and histories that may shape our language use and understanding?
This class is the next piece in the puzzle to the journey I have been on this year both professionally and personally.
If I take time to reflect in order to move forward, than I need to reevaluate how I determine a child's ability to learn. I often base my perceptions on a child's learning by what he produces, rather than by who he is, or rather, the events of his life that have lead him up to the time he is in my class. Through the Delpit and Hicks books as well as our additional articles,it is clear the personal histories of our students are what impacts their production in our classrooms. What fills their lives outside of school greatly influences what fills the assignments we prescribe at school. Building a bridge between these two kingdoms is key. A child knows how to live as king of his castle at home. He has honed this process, this langauage that is bantered around between the subjects of his family. When he enters the new kingdom of school, he automatically falls to "serf" level when the high propierty of language is thrown at him upon entrance. He becomes a foreigner in this new land, a land he is to reside in and conquer over the next twelve years. This is where my different thinking enters. I am not only queen of my castle, the classroom, but I have been given this great authority to add to those who help me rule my kingdom. I do not hold my hand clenched as a tyrant or despot determined for others to see things my way, but rather I hold my hand open as a host of a great celebration, inviting all to enter in. I believe welcoming each child into this land of learning with the words, "your stories are welcome here, your thoughts are important" sets up an atmosphere of invitation. It is an atmosphere where everyone of us is challenged to think differently, to look beyond what a face holds and examine the heart, the mind, and the soul of an individual.
As I began the readings of this course, I was negative in the first readings. (I cannot reference the name of the authors since I have given The Skin That We Speak to my principal to read.) I did not realize the relevance of identity at first in communication, but rather the differences of speaking in a way variant than the mainstream population communicates. I wondered why can't you just speak the way your teacher is trying to show you? I was saying keep your kingdom over there if you want to enter into mine. I was not looking forward to the next grouping of chapters. However, as we delved into the examination of language and identity, I was caught in a misconception. I was allowing my perception of a populace, or rather my prejudice of a populace to determine my value of their language. I did not really care about their history, yet I expected others to care so deeply about mine. I feel as though this class has allowed me to know freedom in some respects. I have been working hard this year on building community and pouring my time in finding literature which exemplifies similarities and differences. Yet, I was so invested in this endeavor I was neglecting the very people I want to impact, my students. I believe this class has helped me to stop, examine the histories of these children, then go find your literature. Meld where they are and what they've experienced with what a book has to offer. While I maintain my curriculum map and lesson plans, the individuality of the implementation is beginning to shine through. The student I first wrote about needing a topsy turvy with is now a child I am building connection with. Instead of seeing him and his set of idiosyncrasies, I see a boy operating out of what he knows from home. As a parent, I do not buy into a child centered home, but as a teacher I believe this phrase has some merit. I believe my instruction, my planning, my thoughts should be centered on how will this translate to each child in my room? I am pretty ignorant on the language and ramifications of the policies of No Child Left Behind. But I will hold onto the name of this legislation, becasue it rings true. As we have learned together through our readings and our blog revelations, our goal is that no child is left behind in a great expanse between two kingdoms. I have looked at the ugliness of my prejudices and misconceived ideas about people, about my own students, and I feel as though the shackles have been taken off. I have so far to go, but what a great place to start. I am trying to turn, turn, turn from what I have been to becoming a queen who is interested in kingdom building, welcoming all with whatever postcards they bring from the places they've been.
Stefoni Shaw