RES 5530: Race, Class, and Gender in Literacy Research (Spring 2009)

There are times in life when the question of knowing if one can think differently than one thinks, and perceive differently than one sees, is absolutely necessary if one is to go on looking and reflecting at all.
Michel Foucault

This has been a very powerful class for me. I never thought that an online format could produce so much thinking and internalizing in myself. I believe it was the first podcast from Dr. Jackson that said we should try to be as open as possible during our readings and posts. I haven’t that of that, until just now, after reading this quote. My ways of thinking has taken a dramatic shift. I am very surprised. I tend to be a very stubborn and outspoken person. However, I believe my thinking has shifted because it needed to. I deeply care for my students. They really are part of my family and I always want the best for them. The readings in this course have led me to the realization that I must respect my students on a deeper level than what I had been doing. And until I can do that, I will hinder them in reaching their true potential.

After reading the Dowdy article, I realized the power of being able to code switch. I laughed at and blamed professionals who use improper English. Several months later, I also saw the power in teachers using students’ language. I tried it recently on the playground. Other teachers were standing near me, and the words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them, “Go on witch your badself girl. You show dem boys how it’s done!” I used the hand and eye roll thing too. I knew if I thought about it for too long, I wouldn’t actually do it. I was afraid of the “look” from the other teachers. I think I was also afraid of how goofy I would sound. But I reached a little girl who is usually very timid and shy around me. She thought it was the funniest thing. She came out of her shell that day. She has been more confident and more willing to answer my questions. And I wonder if she saw how vulnerable I was, and saw that lightning didn’t strike me. Or maybe she even saw my happiness. Whatever it was, it helped. So, thanks to this course, I have discovered that code switching can go both ways.

With most of the readings in this course, I think of the novel Beloved, by Toni Morrison. That novel showed me just how important identity is to each and every one of us. When I think back to the Situated Histories chapter, I remember that each child comes to my room with their own identity. They have come from nothing. Even if it seems like nothing to the person next door, it is SOMETHING. I have to try my best to help them build and add onto that identity and make it much stronger. Today, I was speaking with a teacher who has a student that is starting to become a behavior problem. This particular student has a very difficult home life. There is a lot of violence, neglect and drugs. She pulled him aside today and asked him why he was acting the way he was. After a really long talk, he finally said, “It’s just what happens. When you get old you get bad.” And it troubled me to think that he already had chosen his path in life. This teacher and I both vowed to show him all HIS possibilities that he has in life. But we are walking a fine line. We do not want him to think we are changing who he is. We want to show him what he can be, and what he can accomplish.

Since I have read the chapter Fiction of Girlhood, I have had to really analyze my teaching. If any moment of the day has been wasted or I have thought, “Well let me just sit her and relax for a minute”, I think of the little girl, Laurie. She needed every ounce of her teachers’ energy. She needed the instruction specific to her. And even though I KNOW this is what all students need, I still have lazy moments. But since I have read this chapter, my lazy moments happen less frequently and are much shorter!

For each article and each chapter that I have read in this course, I always think of my students. This is partly because this is a professional setting, but it is also because this is my life. I really never think of teaching as a career, but as a huge facet of my life. But I have also come to realization that I have applied these readings to my personal life as well. I’m not nearly as judgmental of my friends as I once was (and I say this like to has been years- but it has only been a few months). This was a huge problem that I was having. In fact, one of the roommates actually moved out because of it. She thought that I resented her and liked her less because she never finished college. And I will be honest; I had a BIG problem with it. I knew she could do better. That was my rationale. She could do better. And I kept saying it. But I don’t think I ever really asked her what she wanted out of life. I regret that. I regret that I didn’t take this class earlier. I wish I could have had a more open heart before she choose to move out. I was forcing an identity on her, that wasn’t hers. And now that I see that, I see her for who she is. I really do SEE. Life is too short to place judgment on others. It is too short to put people in “groups”. We really do need to see everyone for who they ARE.
Sarah Feinman

This course has defiantly been intriguing and inspiring. It has truly made me grow as a student, educator, and person. As we teach and live our lives there are so many things that we lose sight of. Not only have I learned to be more reflective, I have learned to be open minded, proactive in our schools and an active listener, not only to my colleagues but with my students, families and even my friends.

As I read over the quotes I couldn’t decide which one to pick. All three were so closely related to all that I have learned this semester. I ended up choosing two to reflect further upon.
There are times in life when the question of knowing if one can think differently than one thinks ,and perceive differently than one sees,
is absolutely necessary if one is to go on looking and reflecting at all.
Michel Foucault
Text of pleasure: the text that contents, fills, grants euphoria; the text that comes from culture and does not break with it, is linked to a comfortable practice of reading.
Text of bliss: the text that imposes a state of loss, the text that discomforts, unsettles the reader’s historical cultural, psychological assumptions, the consistency of his [sic] tastes, values, memories, brings to a crisis his [sic] relation with language.
Roland Barthes

At the start of the semester I thought I was prepared for this class to be different than any course I had taken in format and content. I thought that I reflected often on my classes, students, families and life so this class would support that. However, as I began to read the works in The Skin That We Speak, as well as the articles and Reading Lives I realized that I only reflect on what I choose to and that I don’t usually push myself to consider things outside of my comfort zone or to read text of bliss. My reflections were hindered by my closed mindedness and I didn’t even know it. As I read this semester I couldn’t help but wonder why is it that teachers go through the education program in so many universities, planning to be prepared to teach but yet not one course prepares us to understand the importance of our tone, presentation, implication, attitude or the acceptance and importance of children’s language. It was not until this class, which is an elective that I really thought through all of these issues. It is no wonder that new teachers, and even older teachers, go into classrooms and fail.

As I first started reading The Skin That We Speak I realized I had several biased and wasn’t as open-minded as I thought. My idea that every child needed to learn ‘standard English’ and that Ebonics was not a real language is something that I know now was a misconception and understanding that I had. Before I posted that first post I felt uneasy and wondered how others felt about the issue. I also wondered was I going to like this course and the views that it may present. I was very defensive because what the author was saying put me out of my comfort zone. However I realized as I read that by denying kids there native language in school I am denying them there family values and culture. As I read several of our readings and even a children’s book, Elijah of Buxton, this semester I felt what I feel many of these kids feel as they try and make sense and connect to what we are teaching. In Elijah of Buxton, Elijah spoke a dialect that is different from my own. I found myself reading slower and having a harder time getting into the story. It really made me think about how kids feel when reading a book outside of their native language/dialect. The book was no longer a text of pleasure. Many times we assume that kids should be reading for enjoyment however when the task of reading is a difficult one or the text does not flow with what they already know then they are no longer able to read for pleasure.

One thing I knew prior to this class but have truly realized this semester through our readings is that the path to reaching certain students and teaching them may not be easy, but with encouragement, dedication, and the right teaching it can happen. Kohl’s comment about how “New teachers (I think even veteran teachers, also), if they do not come from communities that are similar to those they teach in, are particularly vulnerable to miscommunication.”. This hit home for me especially as I read about Donny and his family. So many times we have had parents that we wish we could reach and talk to but can never get in touch with. This mother was so dedicated to making sure her son had a future that she was even willing to admit that she was illiterate to everyone at the school. She made sure they knew she could not read their notes but for them to call anytime they needed her to know something. It is scary to think that situations like these occur all the time and may have even occurred in my classroom and I didn’t even recognize it. Every year we come in contact with kids from a wide range of backgrounds and lifestyles. Instead of blaming the student and families for the difficulties we are facing in class we need to reflect on the situation and why the method(s) we are using at school are not working.

On another note, Judith Baker has the right idea. Her theory of trilingualism truly categorizes language. As students get older they need to be taught and be aware of the different types of language and situations you would use them in. I loved how Baker worked to make the kids aware of their similarities and differences, as well as made them the judge of when certain types of language are appropriate versus not. She not only helped the students understand each other but gave them a better understanding of society. It really made me think about the fact that as teachers we stray away from topics and books that might be controversial or topics that may lead to a conversation that might take us out of our comfort zone or in other words text of bliss. So often we only encourage children to read for pleasure, because that is what we do. We fear what others might think and especially what parents might say. But we forget about whose needs we should really be thinking about, the children. Even as parents we try to “protect” our children from the real world. The truth is that so often they already know about the things we are “protecting” them from. Inevitably we are only hurting them by not giving them the opportunity to share their feelings and interpretations. As parents and educators we need to remember how important literature that discusses social issues and discussions about them is in helping our children grow and have a deeper understanding of the world. As Moller and Allen stated, “ If we pretend that we live in a world where these things do not happen, we not only reveal ourselves as dishonest to children, who often know more than we give them credit for , but we also fail to prepare them for the world that we and they must work together to change.” We need to work towards being proactive in helping our children understand the situations they face daily and the world around them.

Not only do we need to push kids to read text of bliss but as adults and educators we need to push ourselves to read text of bliss. Prior to this class I would never have picked up a novel that was solely written around research. It is out of my comfort zone and therefore I avoided it. I didn’t realize how truly valuable these types of literature truly are, especially in education. The articles we read and the book Reading Lives made me realize how more qualitative research and less quantitative is needed to truly understand what is going on in education and that as teachers how we need to read, reflect upon and be proactive for qualitative research. I would have to agree with Hinchman in that if we want to really focus on why kids aren’t performing they way that we would like then we need to do more qualitative research to pinpoint the problem.

The idea of teaching is so complex and one that takes deep thought and open mindedness. Thanks to this course I feel that I am more capable of being open minded and willing to think differently than I normally would.
Amy Spade

There are times in life when the question of knowing if one can think differently than one thinks, and perceive differently than one sees, is absolutely necessary if one is to go on looking and reflecting at all.
~ Michel Foucault

I chose this quote by Foucault because throughout this course I have found myself reflecting on the way I do things and thinking about how I think. I cannot think of another course in which I have spent so much time on self reflection. Through this course I have grown both personally and professionally.
The Skin that We Speak by Delpit and Dowdy certainly made me reflect. While I did not necessarily agree with everything that was written in the book, it certainly opened my eyes and my mind. I think back to Joanne Dowdy’s story, how she developed two separate languages. The influence of Dowdy’s mother led to the development of these two “languages”. While most of us do not have examples that extreme, many of us can relate to the “dual languages”.
One of the chapters from The Skin that We Speak made me question myself by asking the question “Do I give permission to fail?” I have had several EC students over the years, where I feel I did not demand enough of these students because it was too hard on me. That’s right I said me. The problem with self reflection is that you often see things you would rather not see. The text made me realize that I was doing an injustice to these students and myself by giving them permission to fail.
Ebonics is where I had the most difficulty in agreeing with the text. I have trouble considering it an actual language and not slang. I believe in Standard English. Ebonics may be acceptable for use in the home and streets it is not acceptable in the classroom and workplace. I live in an area with very few blacks; we have a great deal of Hispanics and Hmong. Of course we have translators for these languages during conferences and meetings. I cannot imagine having an Ebonics translator.
The stories of Danny and Zonnie, the American Indians, made me realize that motivation is a crucial part of teaching. Here were two bright children who should have done well in school but didn’t because they were not sufficiently motivated. I looked back to that particular blog and ended my post with “I need to broaden by definition of success; I need to find ways to reach every child.” I look at my students differently than I did in December, before I started this course. Instead of expecting each child to reach a goal, I encourage each student to do their personal best. Mayci’s best isn’t the same as Hailey’s but each is learning and doing their best. It’s all we can ask.
One of my favorite readings of the course was the story of the young men from the Sudan. Reading about the lives of these young men seemed to put my world into perspective. Things that I deal with every day, that are a constant source of worry and stress, pale next to what these young men had to endure just to survive. My world is limited to right here, right now, because I have limited it. I need to step back and examine the larger picture, the one that says I do make a difference in a child’s life. I have the ability to change the world, one student at a time. Will I accept the challenge or will I continue to live day to day, problem to problem, with blinders on?
The book by Deborah Hicks Reading Lives; Working Class Children and Literacy Learning was another thought provoking piece of the puzzle. The stories of Laurie and Jake are the untold stories of countless other children; children in my county, in my school, in my classroom. Through this book I explored new thoughts on the working class children of my school. While I grew up in a working class family, my family valued education above all things. That is a major difference in stories of Jake and many of the students in my classroom. Parents may pay lip service to the value of education, but the reality is that a myriad of other things come first. I have a student who is struggling in school, and the parents ask what they can do to help their child succeed. Yet three weeks before testing, the very same family has taken their child out of school to go to the beach. Another students family went to the beach the week after Easter break, missing an entire week of school. Another family went to Disney the week before Easter. I believe while the parents in my classroom say education is important, they truly believe a vacation is more important.
I have decided to make some changes during the next school year due to the readings of this course. I have already spoken to my principal about doing home visits next year. I am very excited about the possibilities of visiting my future students and relationships that I hope will develop. I also want to involve parents and families more next year, so that we are working together as a single unit. I feel that parents and I are on separate teams, not working together as we should.
As I went back and reread some of the blogs that I have posted this semester, almost all of them have ended with a comment on the thoughts that the readings have provoked. As I mentioned earlier I have reflected more on my teaching style and beliefs and the everyday matters of teaching than I ever have. I like the fact that this course made me look at myself and question what I do. I believe I am a better teacher today than I was before I started this class. I have also learned a skill that I will continue- to constantly self evaluate- never settle, do not take things for face value, find a way to make a change. My students deserve to have a teacher who loves, motivates and inspires.
SuSu Watson

Text of pleasure: the text that contents, fills, grants euphoria; the text that comes from culture
and does not break with it, is linked to a comfortable practice of reading.
Text of bliss: the text that imposes a state of loss, the text that discomforts, unsettles the reader’s
historical cultural, psychological assumptions, the consistency of his [sic] tastes, values,
memories, brings to a crisis his [sic] relation with language.
Roland Barthes

This course was unlike any other course that I have taken as a student. I have learned and gained valuable information from every course that I have taken, but this course was different. I never would have thought that I would get so much out of an online course. Here I didn't just learn and gain. Here I was challenged to internalize uncomfortable ideas and make mirror image reflections about myself, both as an individual and as a teacher. I was forced to see me for who I am, then with each word, coaxed to make a change in my methods for the sake of my students. Each week I "met" students in stories and articles that look like the children that I teach, love, and truly care about. And I could not be content with what is happening in the educational world around me, nor in my own classroom. I know that I am supposed to reflect all the time and I do, but for the first time in a long time, I didn't just generate a reflection. I analyzed and evaluated my reflections, with my students and my personal desire to grow as an educator in mind.

As I have mentioned in a couple of my other blogs, I am an avid reader. There is nothing more that I love to do in life (besides scrapbooking and family time) than read. Of course I have my favorite authors and I stalk Barnes and Noble whenever my favorite writers publish something new. I am your classic "for pleasure" reader. Reading makes me feel good all over. There is nothing like reading a great book and the sense of accomplishment that I have when I finish reading it. I read for a variety of reasons, but mostly I read to escape my own major and minute problems. A bigger problem means more novels, and a minute problem can be ‘made better’ with just one novel. Yes, for me, pleasure text is a part of who I am. These are not text that I read looking for change or self-evaluation, but are text that are the equivalent of me watching my favorite evening TV drama on the tube.

Unfortunately for the students that we read about in The Skin That We Speak and Reading Lives, text for pleasure was a far-fetched goal because the world of literacy was seemingly not created for them. As I read research study after research study two things consistenly happened. 1) My heart broke for the students that I read about and other students in our country experiencing the same frustration and 2) A glimmer of hope flickered within, knowning that research is being done, and teachers just like the ones that signed up for this class are willing to make changes in our own classrooms to make learning truly an equal opportunity for ALL students. As a black girl growing up in the public schools of America, I had first hand experience on how language, race, gender, ethnicity, and culture could positively or negatively impact a minority child’s educational experience. Even at that, it looks a little different now that I am on the teacher side of the coin. Nothing in my teacher education courses prepared me to teach with those things in mind. A professor once told me to teach the student and not the subject. Eight years ago I did not fully understand what she meant. While reading and blogging for this class I began to make sense of what my professor was charging me to do.

I have no question that the text and articles that we engaged in throughout the semester were text of bliss. These texts certainly caused feeling of unsettlement and discomfort as I reflected on my teaching practices and the students that might be getting left behind in my classroom, because I have not done enough to give them a voice and let them be “heard”. Before this class, I had the attitude that I already knew enough about racial and gender struggles through first hand experience so what more could I possibly learn. The answer is, I learned a lot. I was not the perfect equal opportunity, all is fair in my classroom type of teacher that I thought I was. My thinking and my classroom delivery were challenged with each research study that I read. I asked myself so many "Why did I?", "How can I make it better?", "What do I do with this knowledge?" questions. The answers took a lot of soul searching and some of my questions are still in the process of being answered. The internal change that has happened to me personally and professionally is one that will have a lasting impression, not only on me, but the students that I will reach as I strive to meet them where they are.

I think the study that had the most impact on me were the stories of Danny, Zonnie, and Laurie. How do we let smart children fall through the cracks of education? Why is America, the home of the melting pot, a place where schools devalue and undermine the abilities of children that are different? While I can’t do anything about America, I can make a difference in my small part of the world. Before taking this class, there were things that I was already doing in my classroom to try to make all students feel included, but I have gained many more strategies to do this effectively. As a result of my many self-evaluative reflections I view teaching and my responsibility to my students in a fresh light. This experience has been a journey that I am grateful to have been a part of. I will be sure to look for bliss texts in the future so that I can continue to evolve and reflect.

Cherrita Hayden-McMillan