There are times in life when the question of knowing if one can think differently than one thinks, and perceive differently than one sees, is absolutely necessary if one is to go on looking and reflecting at all.
~ Michel Foucault
I chose this quote by Foucault because throughout this course I have found myself reflecting on the way I do things and thinking about how I think. I cannot think of another course in which I have spent so much time on self reflection. Through this course I have grown both personally and professionally.
The Skin that We Speak by Delpit and Dowdy certainly made me reflect. While I did not necessarily agree with everything that was written in the book, it certainly opened my eyes and my mind. I think back to Joanne Dowdy’s story, how she developed two separate languages. The influence of Dowdy’s mother led to the development of these two “languages”. While most of us do not have examples that extreme, many of us can relate to the “dual languages”.
One of the chapters from The Skin that We Speak made me question myself by asking the question “Do I give permission to fail?” I have had several EC students over the years, where I feel I did not demand enough of these students because it was too hard on me. That’s right I said me. The problem with self reflection is that you often see things you would rather not see. The text made me realize that I was doing an injustice to these students and myself by giving them permission to fail.
Ebonics is where I had the most difficulty in agreeing with the text. I have trouble considering it an actual language and not slang. I believe in Standard English. Ebonics may be acceptable for use in the home and streets it is not acceptable in the classroom and workplace. I live in an area with very few blacks; we have a great deal of Hispanics and Hmong. Of course we have translators for these languages during conferences and meetings. I cannot imagine having an Ebonics translator.
The stories of Danny and Zonnie, the American Indians, made me realize that motivation is a crucial part of teaching. Here were two bright children who should have done well in school but didn’t because they were not sufficiently motivated. I looked back to that particular blog and ended my post with “I need to broaden by definition of success; I need to find ways to reach every child.” I look at my students differently than I did in December, before I started this course. Instead of expecting each child to reach a goal, I encourage each student to do their personal best. Mayci’s best isn’t the same as Hailey’s but each is learning and doing their best. It’s all we can ask.
One of my favorite readings of the course was the story of the young men from the Sudan. Reading about the lives of these young men seemed to put my world into perspective. Things that I deal with every day, that are a constant source of worry and stress, pale next to what these young men had to endure just to survive. My world is limited to right here, right now, because I have limited it. I need to step back and examine the larger picture, the one that says I do make a difference in a child’s life. I have the ability to change the world, one student at a time. Will I accept the challenge or will I continue to live day to day, problem to problem, with blinders on?
The book by Deborah Hicks Reading Lives; Working Class Children and Literacy Learning was another thought provoking piece of the puzzle. The stories of Laurie and Jake are the untold stories of countless other children; children in my county, in my school, in my classroom. Through this book I explored new thoughts on the working class children of my school. While I grew up in a working class family, my family valued education above all things. That is a major difference in stories of Jake and many of the students in my classroom. Parents may pay lip service to the value of education, but the reality is that a myriad of other things come first. I have a student who is struggling in school, and the parents ask what they can do to help their child succeed. Yet three weeks before testing, the very same family has taken their child out of school to go to the beach. Another students family went to the beach the week after Easter break, missing an entire week of school. Another family went to Disney the week before Easter. I believe while the parents in my classroom say education is important, they truly believe a vacation is more important.
I have decided to make some changes during the next school year due to the readings of this course. I have already spoken to my principal about doing home visits next year. I am very excited about the possibilities of visiting my future students and relationships that I hope will develop. I also want to involve parents and families more next year, so that we are working together as a single unit. I feel that parents and I are on separate teams, not working together as we should.
As I went back and reread some of the blogs that I have posted this semester, almost all of them have ended with a comment on the thoughts that the readings have provoked. As I mentioned earlier I have reflected more on my teaching style and beliefs and the everyday matters of teaching than I ever have. I like the fact that this course made me look at myself and question what I do. I believe I am a better teacher today than I was before I started this class. I have also learned a skill that I will continue- to constantly self evaluate- never settle, do not take things for face value, find a way to make a change. My students deserve to have a teacher who loves, motivates and inspires.
SuSu Watson