As I was reading chapter 9, I couldn't help but think of a story I was told when I first got married. It was a wonderful "topsy-turvy" for marriage and one that I try to think of when I'm interacting with my students in my classroom.
"There was an old couple who had tea and toast mid-morning each day. The woman made the tea and her husband made the toast. She always put alot of thought and love into her pot of tea. She measured the water and the tea exactly and made sure her husband had his favorite cup from which to drink his tea. She was frustrated, however, whenever the loaf of bread was at the beginning or the end because her husband always gave her the heel for her toast. Why should she always be the one to get the heel? How selfish of her husband! He saved the perfect pieces for his toast. One day, feeling exasperated from his years of selfishness of always giving her the heel, she let him have it! "Honey," she said, "You are terrible! You give me the heel EVERYTIME and NEVER take it! Why must I always suffer through the HEEL?!?" Her husband, looking shocked and a bit dismayed simply said, "Dear I gave you the heel because it's my favorite part of the loaf. I wanted you to have the joy of eating it."
This story not only shaped the way I interact with my husband, but it also made me mindful of my interactions with my students, colleagues, friends, and family. When it comes to successful interactions, it's all about PERSPECTIVE. Because I perceive something to be negative, it may not be. It's all dependent upon the intent behind what is said. Wouldn't that be a good lesson in the classroom? I love to teach my students how to interact with one another, to be respectful of differences, and to handle their own problems (within reason) in a kind manner. Wouldn't it be great to teach children (and adults) not to always jump to a negative conclusion because of the words you hear from someone's mouth? Wouldn't it be wonderful if they could look past the words (which are sometimes clumsy) and see the intent behind what their teacher, classmates, friends, siblings, parents, spouses, etc, are saying?
Like Beth Rigsbee, I took Dr. Pesko for an earlier literature class. She assigned us to tape record a typical interaction of ourselves, as the classroom teacher, and our classes. We then calculated the ratio of ourselves speaking versus our students speaking. This was eye opening to me. I dominated the conversation. Obviously I had to in certain areas of the lesson to guide my first graders' thinking, but there were so many other areas of the lesson where I didn't have to (dominate). This made me very mindful of my interactions in whole group, small group, and individualized instructional settings.
Chapters 10 and 12 focus on the frustration those who speak alternate English languages feel. If I were faced with the daily corrections many students face who speak soundly in their home language, I would feel intimidated to attempt to speak and express myself in the classroom. Is this how my students feel when I correct them when they say things like "mines" instead of mine? "Yea" instead of "yes"? When they make something plural that should be singular and vice-versa? Where do I draw that line? I certainly don't ever want my students to feel that frustration. How do I, as a classroom teacher, respect my students' language of home AND teach them standard English? Or do I? Is there a right answer?
Comments (6)
Jeanna, I loved your story of the old married couple! What a wonderful analogy to what our students bring to our classroom. When I was student teaching last semester, I often heard some of the teachers in our school making comments about why parents didn’t raise their children better and then maybe teachers wouldn’t have such a great responsibility with our students. I asked my supervising teacher what she thought and she simply told me that she learned a long time ago that parents don’t keep their best children at home and send you the ones they don’t want, they send the best children they have to school every day. While this doesn’t imply that parents should not fulfill their obligations in raising their children, it certainly gave me a new perspective of the challenges some parents or guardians face. The vast majority of parents are doing the absolute best job they know how of raising their children and send the best children they have to school so that I can fulfill my responsibility of supporting their children to become well-rounded and knowledgeable citizens of our ever expanding world. My personal task every day is to determine how to do this in the best way that I know how (which of course is part of the reason I am in graduate school, in order to expand my knowledge of teaching and the best practices for it).
I think your idea of using a tape recorder to really be able to see how much I allow my students to participate in the lessons I give is a great idea! This is something I will definitely have to try out next year. There are so many things that I am so much more aware of as I teach that I have gained from the discussions we share in this course!
Posted by Allison Reese | June 3, 2007 7:27 PM
Posted on June 3, 2007 19:27
I think many of your colleagues have asked the same question that you pose at the end fof your post. The question itself is one that invites reflection and careful application based on your classroom needs. What seems to be most important is an acute awareness of the issue and to monitor yourself on a daily basis -- exhausting, yes!
Alecia Jackson
Posted by Prof. Alecia Jackson | June 3, 2007 7:48 PM
Posted on June 3, 2007 19:48
Jeanna,
Your last question about respecting the child's primary discourse and the SE that is expected at school is the focus question that sums up this book. We realize there is a difference between the language at home and the language at school. We understand that we must respect individual differences and believe that their primary language is a legitimate form of communication. We, as educators, accept this but how do we balance that in the classroom? One interesting approach I tried last year when I have fifth and I have used in in my K class this year is the idea of addressing people by their first name. Example: John, I agree with what you said but I think... OR Susan, what do you think about the character.... The idea is that by addressing someone by their name gives all of the listeners a sense that what they say, how they respond is very important and will be appreciated for what it is. The focus is not on how they answer, but that they respond knowing that others are actively listening. My class thought is was funny at first but it caught on quickly and help to nurture respectful, well-though out conversations.
Posted by Renee Pagoota | June 3, 2007 8:44 PM
Posted on June 3, 2007 20:44
Jenna,
Thank you so much for your story!! It is a good reminder that things aren’t always what they seem. How many times have we all been offended by someone who was only trying to do something that they thought was nice for us. You are exactly right when you say that we all perceive things in different ways. Many times children perceive things totally opposite from the way we expect. Therefore this makes me very mindful of the way I interact with and react to my students.
Moreover, I also wonder how frustrated I make my students when I correct their spoken language. I constantly correct many of the children in my classroom. Words and phrases such as ‘his’en, ain’t, yonder, me and him, float around my room all day long. Sometimes I feel guilty correcting my students because they become so angry towards me. I know in their minds they are thinking, “That’s the way everyone around me talks”. I totally agree with you. Where do you draw the line? Is there an actual solution to this problem?
Kelly Mabe
Posted by Kelly Mabe | June 3, 2007 9:04 PM
Posted on June 3, 2007 21:04
Jeanna,
I enjoyed reading your story about the old couple. It is so true about how we perceive things. It happens with children and adults. Sometimes we do jump to the negative conclusion when we should look deeper. That is a wonderful lesson to teach in the classroom. I know many adults who need to hear that story.
I liked the idea of tape recording yourself. I'll have to do that sometime. I'm sure it would be an eye opener.
I have the same question about where we draw the line about the student's home language and SE.
Posted by Dawn Thomas | June 3, 2007 10:48 PM
Posted on June 3, 2007 22:48
Jeanna,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the story about the married couple that had tea and toast mid-morning everyday. This story and other stories similar to this, have a message. It is basically about PERCEPTION of the scenario or situation is received.
I also like the idea of recording yourself as you teach a lesson and listen to it later on to hear the interactions with your students. I will put this in my folder of ideas and try it next year to see what happens. Thank you for sharing this.
The question you posed is a very sensitive question, which may require knowing your students and taking a chance of WHEN.
Posted by Shirley Mathis | June 4, 2007 6:34 PM
Posted on June 4, 2007 18:34