Hicks’ initial discussion in chapter 3 brought back fond childhood memories of church and Bible school. I remember bible school as being one of my favorite things about summer vacation. I loved hearing the stories, singing the songs, and reading about the many historical figures within the Bible’s pages. As a young child, the Bible was probably one of the first texts that I took an interest in reading. I would read over and over the stories of Daniel, Zaccheus, and David. I have to admit that after reading Hicks’ opening discussion; I realized the impact that church and Bible School had in the shaping of my identity as a child. Many of the ideas and commandments that were instilled in me then, still shape the adult I am today. Hicks and I definitely handled the experience differently. Hicks states that these experiences to her were “magical” rather than literal. I, on the other hand, literally believed everything that I was told. Isn’t it amazing how two people growing up in similar circumstances can view an activity or idea very differently?
As I continued to read, I identified with the fact that a child’s mother definitely plays a role in the development of a child’s identity. As a young girl I idolized and wanted to be just like my mother. My mom was a homemaker. As a little girl my aspirations were to grow up, get married, and have children. (I wanted to be like mom.) As I grew into my teenage years, my ideas began to change. I began to wonder why my mom, a very intelligent and motivated woman, chose to give up her dreams to raise her kids. (Please do not think I ever looked down on my mom. She is the NOBLEST woman I know.) In high school my mom pushed me very hard to be the best I could be and to be more than she was. In ways at that time I resented her because I thought that she was trying to live through me. However, my moms push, helped me to graduate from high school and college. Although my mom didn’t suggest I go to grad school, deep down I know that the desire she instilled in me in my childhood still pushes me to go further and be more today. So, I definitely agree that a child’s mother helps to shape his/her identity.
Continuing to read, I definitely identified with Hicks’ desire to be the “good girl” in school. As a student, I too got by on the fact that I listened, obeyed, and helped out my teachers. My whole goal at school was to be the student that was loved, accepted, and counted on by my teachers. I was the “good girl”. I agree with Hicks’ statement, “These traditional practices of literacy, not all different from ones that shape the learning experiences of working-class children today, did a lot to teach me the values associated with being a successful school girl: obedience, accuracy, and conformity work.” I definitely see students that fit these same criteria in my own classroom. A few years ago I had a beautiful and sweet young lady in my 2nd grade classroom. This girl always did absolutely everything I asked and turned all assignments in on time. Only after the 1st nine weeks did I begin to pick up on the fact that this young lady had significant deficits in the area of reading. This child’s ability to be a “good girl” almost caused me to miss some serious problems that she was having. It took me a really long time to prove to her that it was okay that she was having problems. Her “good girl” image of perfection had been so ingrained in her identity that she didn’t think that she could be doing anything wrong.
As I concluded the chapter, I was amazed by how the histories of all of the women within chapter 3 began to intertwine and relate. To be honest I feel that every person writing on this blog site could intertwine their own stories and relate them to the other women as well. Deep down no matter how different we all are, we are all still very much the same.
Comments (6)
Kelly,
I agree with you all women have a common thread. If we had enough time, I think we could find it in almost everyone. The trouble is time. We are lucky to have this class available to us as a platform for sharing our thoughts, opinion, and expertise.
You made a valid point when you realized your student from a couple of years ago had a learning deficit that almost went without notice. I wonder how many times learning deficits in children do go unnoticed because the children are so well behaved and well liked. As a mother we all want to hear are children are well behaved and well liked, but there is a need for our young people to rebel against conformity in a positive manner. Children need to know how to take a stand for something they believe in. First, they need to decide what it is they believe in, and then learn what positive steps can be taken to make it happen.
I was also the good girl in school, and it may be this reason it took me so long to decide what I believe in. I think children need to spend less time trying to be what the teacher wants and more time being who they are and deciding what they believe in.
Laura Wollpert
Posted by Laura Wollpert | June 11, 2007 1:41 PM
Posted on June 11, 2007 13:41
Kelly,
I too grew up going to Bible School every summer and listening to my mom read Bible verses each night before I went to bed. I agree with you that this chapter opened my eyes to how experiences like this shapes our identity. You made an interesting observation about how Hick viewed her experiences as "magical" but I like you see things more literal. I too believed everything I was told as I was growing up.
I agree with you that the pushes we get from our moms instilles a desire to do more for ourselves. The way my mom raised me made me want to do as I was told and to this day I am afraid of hurting her. So all my life I have tried to do the right things so that she would be proud of me and who I have become. Now I too am a mom of a two year old and after realizing how what I say and do shapes who he is, I am going to try to accomplish with him, what my mom accoplised with me.
You made a good point about how children that play the "good girl/boy" rule in school could possibly be overlooked for significant deficits. These children work so hard in our classrooms and push themselves to where it probably is something that some teachers might have a hard time catching. As educators we need to constantly monitor our students progress to be certain they are progressing the way they should. I have found it hard to detect deficits in the really shy children in my classroom as well since they won't speak up. Your post is definately going to help me be mindful of students who are not progressing the way they should be.
Linda Younts
Posted by Linda Younts | June 11, 2007 2:51 PM
Posted on June 11, 2007 14:51
I too grew up trying to be the "good girl."....and i was! Some of my friends teased me and called me a brown-noser. I identify with the little girl in your classroom. I was a fine reader, but always had trouble with math. I think i tried to please my teachers constantly b/c i wanted them to either overlook my problems, or i was afraid they wouldn't like me if i wasn't smart. Isn't it sad that kids get this impression sometimes? It's important for us, as teachers, to remember that we need to see each child, deeply, as an individual, and let them know that we love them no matter what. Every year i have some little girls that over-please....and sometimes i think it's for the same reason as my past experience.
Your last sentence: "Deep down no matter how different we all are, we are all still very much the same" is so true! I think this is something that we need to shout to our kids in our classrooms!
Posted by Andrea Lehman | June 11, 2007 8:08 PM
Posted on June 11, 2007 20:08
I wonder how many "good girls" are on this Blog?
I think that you are right in that teachers need to be very aware of the positionality of "good girl" and how girls take up this identity and use it in strategic ways. Of course, there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with being a good girl -- but you raised our awareness about how it can be just a facade, or just one part of a complex identity that makes up for other, perhaps less desirable, traits .....
Alecia
Posted by Prof. Alecia Jackson | June 11, 2007 8:58 PM
Posted on June 11, 2007 20:58
I too grew up trying to be the good girl, but more for my mother and father than for my teachers. I wanted my parents to be proud of me more than anything and it seemed that A's on a report card made them proud and so that is what I wanted to do. The only time that I really cared what my teachers thought is when I knew them outside of the school setting. I had a 7th grade teacher who was also my softball coach in middle school and so I wanted to impress him more than any other teacher. I think it has more to do with relationships you have when you get older and more to do with being the "good girl" when you are younger.
Posted by Kristen Billings | June 11, 2007 9:41 PM
Posted on June 11, 2007 21:41
Kelly,
I remember my childhood memories of church and Vacation Bible School, too. I also literally believed everything that I was told.
I agree that a mother plays a role in a child's identity. My mother also wanted the best for me. I look back now and I'm glad that she did push me and encourage me. By doing that it helped me to get through high school and college, too.
That was interesting how the student in your classroom portrayed the "good girl" image and how you noticed she was having some problems in the area of reading. As I continue to teach, I am going to be more observant of my students and realize that I may have students who portray being the "good girl" but yet is having difficulty in academic areas.
Posted by Dawn Thomas | June 11, 2007 10:21 PM
Posted on June 11, 2007 22:21