While some people were shocked that a parent would encourage a child to go get revenge, I am used to situations like this with students and parents in my school. In their neighborhoods not going after someone is a sign of weakness and will cause further grief later.
We have had parents come to school to try to continue things that started in the neighborhood between children. Yes, we have had parents who have come to school to try to talk to a child who was having a problem with his or her child. We have had parents who have attempted to board school buses to talk to children, not their own, who are rumored to have said something about somebody. It is ridiculous and stupid of adults to react this way about a child, but these people do not know another way to behave. This behavior is acceptable in their world.
We have had to bring families in for conferences to explain that the rules of the neighborhood are not the rules we follow at school. We have to make it clear to the entire family that behavior like that is unacceptable at school. We have had to call police of parents and have parents banned from school grounds.
Most of us cannot even begin to imagine telling a child, encourage a child to seek revenge. And the idea of an adult going to a school for the purpose of terrorizing a child is absurd and insane. We have had to have
There is no doubt literacy is influenced greatly by children’s lives outside of school. The situations children are exposed to, as well as literature they are exposed to has an impact on them. And in turn it can influence the entire classroom.
When the majority of your students are from lower socio economic families, you have a challenge to expose them to things that can raise their background knowledge. At my school we have many students who have never been out of the county, and many have never heard of much less seen many of the things they are reading and learning about. It is hard for them to realize there is a world outside of their immediate world – which is Hickory. A few years ago I had a student who had lived in Hickory his entire life and had never been to the mall.
Many children are not exposed to books, but they are exposed to stories when they hear their parents, grandparents, and people who surround them tell stories about what happened at work, or at the store, or at the party they went to last weekend.
When we host parents’ nights at school we do try to emphasize how important it is for them to talk to their children. We have taken the families to the public library so the parents can see where it is and get library cards. That has been very successful for us. A majority of our families now have library cards and use the public libraries weekly, if not more often than that. It took educating the parents – literally getting a bus and driving them to the library and helping them fill out library card paperwork, but it worked and that is al that matters when trying to help increase family literacy for our students.
Children are introduced to many new things when they enter school for the first time. Many have never been read to, or seen their names in print, many don't even know their actual name becaus ethey have been called nicknames their entire lives. They are exposed to other children and adults who who may look like them or talk like them. We have to give them the tools needed to survive in their new world and in their home environment.
Caroline Walker
Comments (2)
I am also used to situations where parents encourage their children to get revenge, but it still surprises me. I have also had parents come in to school to try talk to a child that is not their own and some have tried to get on buses as well. I agree with you that these parents just do not know of any other way to react, it's what they are used to. At my school, the teachers got on a bus one afternoon and went to a neighborhood where many students live and we held conferences. You're right, we have to educate the parents before we can educate the children.
Dana Eudy
Posted by Dana Eudy | June 23, 2009 8:42 PM
Posted on June 23, 2009 20:42
Caroline,
High five! I’m a goober, but that’s how we roll in middle school. Thank you for bringing relevant, non-judgmental points to the table. I love that your school tries to get parents involved and active in ways that will help their children flow between modes of discourse. I don’t really view my job as having to “teach” the parents, but rather as having to validate that which they believe to be true & have taught their kids. Now that doesn’t mean that if you pummel a kid on the bus, it’s okay. I simply mean, “I get that your mama says you’ve got to be a man and hit back, but what other methods could you use to handle conflict” kind of thing.
Our school has started doing student-led conferences. It happens twice a year. Students compile work samples from all of their classes, then lead their grown up through their folder. No teachers are involved, unless a parent or child requests them to be. It’s a way of helping us all slow down, reflect, and talk about the child’s educational life. Because of poor parental turnout from some of our feeder areas, we’ve begun doing the conference in the community, as well as at school. We’ve met in YMCA’s, community centers, and church fellowship halls. I really think if we were able to take more of school into the community, perhaps the community wouldn’t be so resistant to the school ideals. If food and child care were provided, imagine what we could accomplish! We’re working on that at our school…have some great local restaurants & student service clubs who’ll watch babies. Its lots of organizational work, but a great idea.
So keep the faith and the positive attitude at your school. I think we probably teach in similar settings, so we both know we’re in the best places to work :-)
Posted by Ruth Johnson | June 23, 2009 9:22 PM
Posted on June 23, 2009 21:22