In reflecting over the work we have just completed in this course, I find that I am drawn to Foucault’s words as I consider my learning.
“There are times in life when the question of knowing if one can think differently than one thinks, and perceive differently than one sees, is absolutely necessary if one is to go on looking and reflecting at all.”
Suddenly, I feel as though I have entered a long hallway lined on both sides with doors. All these doors, when opened, reveal topics for future study and inquiry – topics I had not considered ‘til now. These topics are pressing and crucial to who I am as a professional, as a teacher, and as a human being in contact with countless other humans. I must continue in careful consideration of these things to decide where I stand on these issues, the basis for so much of my personal philosophy. I find Foucault’s words to be a definition of where I am as a learner. It is a question I must constantly ask of myself as I continue my studies. Have I grown too hardened, so unmoveable and rigid that I cannot think differently? Am I able to recognize the extraordinary and unusual in daily practice and behavior? If I cannot answer a resounding yes, than I am standing still as an academic learner. I am certain that I am not standing still. My reading list is growing. I have added Discipline and Punish, as well as other essays by Foucault. Structuralism and the response of Post – Structuralists occupy space on my list, as do the ideas of agency, autonomy, literary and cultural theory, Womanism (Feminism?), politics of subjectivity, and Marxism. In addition, I have discovered de Beauvoir, Walkerdine, Deleuze and Guattari, Foucault and the multifaceted issue of power in relationships. I will come to think and perceive differently, and will continue to do so until I am mature.
I came into this semester knowing that there were issues coming. Issues that I had not addressed in prior times. I’m sure now that I had a good idea of what types of questions would be raised. I am delighted to say that my prior scholarly endeavors in Latino Studies (entirely in Spanish) could be a distant cousin to the subject matter in this course. Marginalization, assimilation, alienation in different settings, all these things I had explored in other, largely Hispanic cultural contexts. To include race, gender, and class within the periphery of education was a logical extension for expanding my knowledge. At this juncture, I cannot see how they could ever be separated.
Looking back over the course material, I recognize that we have met many of the competencies listed on the syllabus. While still developing, I have made and continue to make an honest effort to “broaden the depth and breadth of knowledge and skills in the academic discipline and in education.” One could not be exposed to the written words we have ingested throughout this month without doing so. I am entertaining several novel ideas and concepts for improving the settings for student learning. One of the most valuable things I have learned this semester is there is so much more to literacy than I thought in the past. I was forced to redefine exactly what literacy entails, and had to radically alter what my original definition included. My current idea of literacy is so much broader, must include more diverse means of expression and choices, and must remain available to alternate and or opposing interpretations, as the skill of the listener / reader / writer warrants. I concede that as a teacher, I must understand the differences with regard to literacy learning and expression within my students. I must concede, as well, that these differences should be viewed as strengths, rather than deficits needing correction. Noll’s article bears this out. I was not open to seeing literacy expression in the ways chosen by those Sioux children. Nor did I consider oral tradition to be literacy; clearly, the art of storytelling is a crucial element in the list of literate practices. Any list would be incomplete without its inclusion.
Exposure to the writings of Dowdy and Delpit has caused me reason for thought and reevaluation of my prior understanding of language and dialect. The ideas that one language could ever be superior to another, or that the speaker could in some way be deficient by reason of his / her mother tongue continue to appear absurd to me. These essays have affirmed that we cannot evaluate a learner on the basis of his / her means of expression, or the strangeness of his / her words. I perceive differently that grammar is a matter of personal history and culture, and not a weakness to be corrected or adjusted. The writings of Ladson – Billings and Henry seemed to me a reprisal of currently accepted teaching practices…I must ask myself - Do I do that? I must be aware and be sure that I include all learners in all aspects and on all levels of instruction. The ground shaking epiphany experienced during the reading of Perry’s research left me with an updated and more inclusive definition of literacy. The Lost Boys and their stories teaches us that each of us has the capacity to evolve, adjust, and acclimate ourselves to reality as we perceive it, or as it is imposed upon us. I concede that rhetoric and storytelling as academic practices are not only interpretable and personal, but are also infinitely textural and rich in cultural uniqueness.
Finally, Hicks has opened for me a real Pandora’s box of issues and questions regarding education and race, gender, and class. My views on delivery of instruction, assessment, and differentiation have been significantly altered after reading the qualitative narratives, personal memoirs, and poignant observations of those Hicks builds her case upon. Her writing taxed me. I am a skillful reader, and was significantly challenged by the text. Her constant return to literacy under the lens of personal history remains for me a constant reminder that being and knowing and learning are all inseparably tied to the essence of each of us. In discovering just what that essence is, I expect to discover a new perception and understanding of myself as I strive toward excellence in my field. As I develop a deeper understanding of myself, I may become better qualified to assist young learners in their own journey of discovery, as I daily act as guide, facilitator, mentor, and teacher for my students. I can easily say my students will benefit from the newness of my perception, the dissimilarity of my thinking, as we learn together and continue to challenge traditional academic views and methods.
Annie Croon