RES 5530: Race, Class, and Gender in Literacy Research (Spring 2009)

Laurie's perceptions of her own power seem to be what caused her to fail or succeed in the school setting. When she felt dominant and flirtatious with boys, she felt good about herself. When she went on meds, she felt bad about herself. When she was praised for being an obedient girl, she felt good, but when her mom's fiance didn't work out, she felt bad. Laurie felt in control when things were going according to her storybook discourse. This is the power of stories, Hicks writes, "they assume moral weight and influence in the context of our histories." (page 85)

I found three things of special note. First, we have to teach girls that it is okay to be feminie and smart. It is okay to mess up sometimes. It is also okay, even desirable, not to be so docile and mothering. I don't think I ever felt conflicting feelings about this, but I was acculturated to be a people pleaser and an obedient student. Second, Laurie was called a disabled reader in a "context that defined reading according to grade level expectations." She was not on grade level and that automatically made her disabled. I think this is where high stakes testing is taking us. All the kids have to be on the same level or there is a problem with them or with us. Third, on page 96 Hicks says that what teachers and schools perceive to be a lag in development might just be a "manifestation of a complicated web of class-specific relations." How hard it is for middle class teachers to identify problems related to a lower socio-economic class!! I see this with several of my students. A parent is in jail, the mom is stressed, and there is no support at home. Clothing and food needs are met but only basically. Life does not seem fair. The student cannot concentrate due to these issues. Could you concentrate? So we label him a disabled reader and try to get him on meds. What he really needs is some counseling on how to handle all these family issues.

This chapter made me so sad for the thousands of kids who live stories similar to Laurie's. I think we can do something about it by fostering relationships with students and by exploring diverse literature combined with class discussions. I think it also helps to tell the kids outright, "This is how middle class white people make schools. It doesn't look like your home life but you can learn to negotiate this system until the playing field is level."

Ashley Catlett

(I love doctors, don't get me wrong. But this seemed like a good quote for this post....)

This chapter was difficult for me to read. I struggled with two issues.

One issue that really stood out for me was the difference in Laurie's academic progress from kindergarten to first grade. She was doing well in kindergarten, and then faltered in first grade. Hicks talks a lot about the use of center time in kindergarten. In fact, there are several episodes in which students are working together in small groups. And yet, when she is in first grade, there is no mention of small groups. Most of Laurie's academic schooling in whole group or independent. How can this be? And it seems as though there was no mention of differentiated instruction, until she moved onto second grade where she was "placed" in a program. In my experience a balanced literacy program MUST have differentiated instruction. You need to teach kids where they are at, not where they SHOULD be. And just because this first grade teacher was experienced does not mean she was meeting the needs the of Laurie. I don't think she was. Most of the activities I do with my students are differentiated. I have small groups for everything. The only teaching that I do that is whole class is TDR, which is mandated by the district. Spelling, math, reading, writing, science and social studies are all small group. I really struggled with this. Of course Laurie was able to look like she was understanding. How could the teacher really know with a whole class to watch?

The other issue was the diagnosis of Laurie's ADD. As teachers, we all know. We know that kids act differently while on meds. In my experience I have met ONE student that truly had ADD. And, granted, I know I am not a doctor. But misbehavior does not mean they have a hard time paying attention or that they have a disorder. I had one student who I jokingly called Mr. Hyde. He was rotten when he wasn't on meds. But he was bright. His creativity and problem solving skills were astounding. But that only happened on the days mom forgot to give him his meds. When he had his meds, he was a zombie. I didn't recognize him. I could always tell if he had taken his meds by the look in his eyes. If he had taken them, his eyes were typically half closed. He rarely spoke and tired out easily. He didn't care about school work or friends. It was horrible watching it. I even told mom that I thought he was being over medicated. And her response was that she couldn't handle him when he wasn't on meds. (!) This whole ADD, ADHD thing has gotten out of control. During a SAT meeting I watched as a social worker told a parent which doctor to go to because that doctor was sure to diagnose ADD. WHAT?! I don't feel that Laurie had ADD. I think she had a difficult upbringing and it put extra stress on her. I do not see that as a disorder.
Sarah Feinman

"Where I grew up, learning was a collective activity. But when I got to school and tried to share learning with other students that was called cheating. The curriculum sent the clear message to me that learning was a highly individualistic, almost secretive, endeavor. My working class experience . . . was disparaged." ~ Henry A Giroux, Border Crossings

I think without realizing it I began teaching quite blindly. I grew up in a privledged home - I have no doubt about it. School seemed to be a continuation of the values that I learned at home. I fit in perfectly. I knew that I was expected to listen, complete my assignments, and come home to finish my homework each day. When I got home either my mom or dad would be there. they would continue to instill the importance of school by either asking me to start my homework (my dad) or actually sitting down to study with me (my mom). Both of my parents worked hard but they always talked to my brother and I about how important school should be to us. Going to college was always something that I knew would happen. By the time I got to high school everything I did was focused on getting ready for college. Unlike Laurie I never felt that I had to 'deal' with my home life. I do realize that I learned to be the 'good student'. I yearned to be the student that the teacher asked to take notes to other teachers or run errands for them. I also wanted to get the best grades because I noticed that teachers loved that in a student. A student that seemed to learn from them and learn well was their favorite kind of studnet. I think these experiences actually made me quite naive about how my classroom would be. My first month of teaching kindergarten was quite interesting. I realized quickly that my students' experiences were quite different from my own and that expecting them to know what I knew as I started school was unfair. Over time and with the help of my AMAZING assistant I learned to negotiate my way through the year. By the middle of the year I had learned to appreciate what my students' had to offer and began to differentiate instruction because of the vast literacy experiences in my room. Kindergarten is one of the hardest places at times because it is in kindergarten that you realize how vast the differences in students can be - you can tell which have had rich literacy experiences and which have not. However, no matter what they all still need those same experiences with their teachers.

I think the hardest part for me when I began to collect my own data was keeping my teaching me seperate from my research me. I see that same struggle with Hicks. From the first moments of thinking about my dissertation, I feared that struggle. As a teaching and more specifically as a teacher of reading, it is SO SO SO hard not to step in and work with a student when I notice their struggles. However, as soon as I step in whether to offer advice or actually teach a student, I change my entire research project. I think Hicks probably had to think carefully about how her research would change as soon as she began to help Laurie. I am glad she decided to step in because for a little bit at the beginning of the chapter I was getting angry. I kept thinking about how easy it would be to offer a little additional support while she was there but then I realized that her observations would change completely as soon as she did so. Feeling this struggle between observer and participant obeserver is hard but it has led me to see that I would be more comfortable in an action research format where I could actually implement change and watch how it works. Yet, I feel it's important to have experiences where you watch and learn because it helps you to see what is really happening and allows you to learn more about the learning process and what teachers can do to change it.

My last comments relate to the quote that I chose - Laurie excelled when she could interact with others in the learning process. She was able to learn and engage in learning when it was collection effort. However, once she left kindergarten much of the learning was focused on the individual. I see this happening quite often in the upper grades. Little group work is conducted because it is too hard to organize or kids don't work well together or, and this is my favorite, it is just too noisy. BUT group work has such value and importance. Sure, the first few times it is done, it will be messy and louder than usually. BUT the more the studnets try it, the more we fine tune it, the better it gets. Once students learn that there are expectations for group work, their work will improve and they can learn quite alot in the process. My undergrads are terrified of doing group work because they don't see it in their classrooms and their teachers tell them it doesn't work - or "this group just can't work together". Once I finally get my undergrads to give it a try, they wind up loving it and they begin to see that their students can do it. THey learn how to monitor, how to guide expectations and how to teach their students to listen and learn from one another. Yes, it is messy and loud but shouldn't all teaching and learning be a little messy and loud.

Amie Snow

As a child I looked forward to watching cartoons every Saturday morning. Although I enjoyed Looney Toons, I absolutely loved Schoolhouse Rock and the Fractured Fairy Tales segment that was a part of Rocky and Bullwinkle. I am not sure if I was drawn to Fractured Fairy Tales because I have such an odd sense of humor or because I had already figured out that fairy tales only existed in books.

While I read this chapter, I considered what shapes our ideas of femininity and life. I realize the power of stories and literature, even for the very youngest of all. I had not considered how much fairy tales and even modern stories for little girls indoctrinate the youngest of women as to what life should be like until my first daughter was born. My husband, who grew up on a steady diet of science fiction and had never read a classic fairy tale before, could not get over the recurring theme of the princess in despair who would be saved by her valiant prince. We have often debated what constitutes a good book for our girls. While I think there is a place for fairy tales and happily ever afters, I do wonder how much of this literature sets young girls up for disappointment and internal struggles when their lives do not measure up to this learned discourse. Hicks mentioned that Laurie’s mother read to her nightly from the packs that were sent home. I am sure those packs contained books with a variety of themes. But I wonder what else was read to Laurie. Yes, reading provides a way of escape from reality but reading also helps shape reality.

Hicks said, “What Laurie seemed to want in school was a sense of belonging that was made more difficult by her academic vulnerability” (p. 95). If home did not live up to fairy tale status and school was a struggle too, what was Laurie to think? Was something wrong with her? Why wouldn’t her prince come to rescue her? In our efforts to meet learning goals and comply with program mandates are we actually leaving the child behind? Although there are some kindergarten students who struggle with separation anxiety, most K5 entrants are excited to become part of this new world. So what happens to those expectations? The harshness of classroom reality may stand in the way of learning for some students. One size does not fit all in education. By failing to provide differentiated instruction, we create an environment that only meets the needs of some of our students. It may be that faulty classroom practices may serve to fracture fragile lives even more. While no child really lives a fairy tale, there are certainly some that seem to have a fairy godmother and others who seem to be banished to the dungeon. I may not be a prince, but I am a teacher. And for some girls, a supportive “in tune” teacher may do more to change a life than any glass slipper.

Lisa Rasey

This may be the most haunting chapter to me this semester. I believe I have met Laurie. She went by another name, yet her story remains the same. My heart hurt as I read line after line the history of a young girl longing for stability, acceptance, praise, and ultimately love. Her life was a pendulum, swinging from hope to despair depending on the scenarios playing out at home. School was a convenient place to reside, figuring out the codes to manuever praise and encouragement from those in authority. She wore the good girl mask in front of her teachers, yet her peers' perceptiveness noticed the areas in which Laurie lacked finesse. I was always drawn to these children in my schooling. I wanted to love them and include them in my world, though flawed, it was still closer to what they longed for. These friendships went well for awhile. We would have sleepovers at my house, trips to our church, and rainy Saturdays inside my room playing Barbies and school. Ultimately, the lure of my comfortable life became a wedge more than a bond. It was too difficult for my Laurie friends to leave my safe harbor and return to the stormy seas of their homes.
Now, as an adult and educator, I am still drawn to Laurie. It mainly plays out in my classroom, where the students who play "good" appear to be moments away from complete unraveling. While my demographic at FCDS is not the working class rather the upper class, the same familial struggles remain. Fractured families with working mothers trying to hold it all together while raising a family. My school may have children blessed with the material things, yet their souls crave the intangilbes.
As I read this chapter, I want to schedule an appointment with her first and second grade teachers and relate to them the importance of differentiated learning, investing in the lives of their students. I was disheartened to read accounts of the teachers who recognize some of Laurie's struggles, yet still maintained an arm's distance from her. So much could have changed with the investment of time on the teacher's behalf. Laurie was sitting there, silently calling out, "pick me, show me how, do you care about me?"
"Children's histories are so readily reduced to simplistic theories and equally simplistic solutions. The paths to creating negotiated movements between cultures and classes are, however, never simple-never reducible to a single method of teaching or theory of learning. Such moments of teaching require the hard work of seeking to understand the realities of children's lives and to respond in ways that extend from those contextualized understandings." p. 96 When the teachers of the Lauries fail to engage in this hard work of seeking to comprehend the lives of these students, we send the message that they cannot be rescued. They then begin to hang their hope on the dream that one day their prince will come.

This chapter really bothered me. I wanted to jump into the book, find Laurie and help her. I am worried about how a child goes from doing well in kindergarten to falling behind in first grade to being placed in second grade. True, kindergarten was a half day, and not as "demanding" but what made first grade so much difficult? Laurie loved the writing center in kindergarten but ending up writing "I like..." sentences later. Were teaching styles different? Why didn't Laurie get help when she first began to fall behind in first grade? I have a new principal, and he this year he implemented a strong push with Aims Web with kindergarten through second grade. I teach third grade and many of my colleagues and those in grades above have been complaining about the manpower and hours that this has been taking, saying we are the tested grades we need the help. I remind them that if children have a strong foundation then we will be able to teach them what we are supposed to and won't have to spend time on remediation. To me building this strong foundation makes perfect sense. Perhaps if Laurie had been tagged when she was first starting to struggle, inverventions could have been made and she might have had a different story to tell.

SuSu Watson

As I read I could not help think about how quick we are labeling kids because they don’t fit into the ‘box’ that is mandated by the adults around them. Is Laurie disabled, ADD or is she just at a different developmental stage than her peers? Not to mention facing issues that not even adults handle well but especially the adults in her life.

This chapter made me sad and angry. To see all that Laurie was going through at home, school, and then with being labeled and the affects the medicine was having on her was heart breaking. Her Kindergarten year was a successful year until she was put on medicine. What bothered me most about the medicine was that behaviors did not sound atypical for a five year old; it was that the adults in her life expected her to act older than she was. Unfortunately, I think this happens with so many kids. I wish there was a medical way to diagnose ADD and ADHD, other than having a teacher, parent, and doctor filling out a questionnaire.

As Laurie entered first grade and everything seemed to go down hill from there I couldn’t help but think about how many kids fall between the cracks so early on. I feel that many teachers are teaching using differentiated instruction now; however the teachers that are not and are only teaching to the middle of the road child and are hindering not only the kids below grade level but also the kids above grade level. So how do we convince teachers that by teach mainly whole group and to your average child that they are not reaching at least 1/3 to ½ of their class? Laurie, like many of our kids that were below grade level, was considered disabled because she couldn’t keep up. How was she supposed to keep up? It was obvious through her cheating and “distractedness” that she wasn’t ready for the material and the teaching style used did not meet her needs. So I can’t help but wonder was she disabled or was she at a different developmental stage than her “average” peers?

Amy Spade

This week’s reading was a bit frustrating for me as I believe it was for many others. Reading the story of Laurie was maddening because it is difficult to read about a child’s problems and the type of education received without being able to actually enter the story and change the child’s life. Reading the disheartening story without being able to alter it in any way is similar to living in a dream and wanting to scream without being able to do so.

It is quite troublesome first that Laurie was very successful in Kindergarten and early education but quickly problems emerged in first grade. Her personality and social abilities also seemed to change through this time span. The author explains that she was outspoken and even downright brassy while in kindergarten. She had a better identity at this point.

Then, the author talks about her femininity at this young age. This was interesting to me because I wouldn’t have thought to investigate a student’s femininity at the age of 5 or 6. However, after learning more about Laurie and her situation, I can see that she did exhibit actions of traditional female roles. This might encourage me to look closer at even young children, as conditioning and social ideas can be apparent at these ages.

Overall, all of the information about Laurie seemed to remind me that these children are all around us. We have all seen children suddenly drop in skills, whether social, educational, or mental. I have seen children who struggle to simply fit-in and whose social skills impact their academic performance. On the other hand, I have also watched students struggle academically. They have become frustrated to the point of no longer trying for fear that their peers will realize they struggle. A student would sometimes rather appear to make bad grades because “they don’t care” than to have trouble with the content. I just hope that I can always handle these situations in a way that will assist the student in improving skills in all areas of their life. I hope that I can be better prepared to deal with situations than what was sometimes done in Laurie’s situation.

Brittany Guy

Laurie's story was a gripping one to me. Deborah Hicks clearly spent a lot of time thinking about this little girl and became invested in learning about her development. I guess the one thing that puzzled me as I was reading was Laurie's diagnosis of ADD. Now, I am no expert in this disorder and only know as much as what was taught briefly in my undergraduate education classes, but it did not seem that Laurie had this disorder. I totally agreed with Hicks when she stated, "...I also believe that what has been marked is not her inability to focus, but her response to stressful material and emotional practices" (pg. 66). Nothing that was described to me in her history showed an inability to focus. Laurie just seemed to be burdened by the forces of her home life and was acting out in ways her teachers couldn't understand. I don't want to get into a big ADD debate, because I know that this is a HUGE issue in schools today, but it seems that in many cases, children are misdiagnosed as having ADD when the problem really lies elsewhere. It seems that this was the case here, and Laurie suffered needlessly from that misdiagnosis. Her medication hurt her school performance and changed her behavior from an outgoing, "brassy" child to a sullen and sulky one. It hurts me to think about how many children have had this happen to them, and how their outcome might have been different if they had gotten the right kind of help. I'm sure it made Hicks feel helpless, seeing as how she could see what was going on with Laurie but she had to be the unbiased researcher just watching it all happen. I sometimes feel that way in my own classroom. I have a student right now who comes to school physically, but is never there mentally. He sits in my classroom with eyes glazed over and an absent, yet angry look in his face. He does no work and is failing my freshman English class. When I called his father to talk about it, he blamed it on his medication, which is also what the student blamed it on.

I also found it interesting how Hicks talked about anger. On page 65, she writes, "Angry feelings and actions were expressed in ways that were sometimes uncomfortable for me as an observer. Having grown up in a rural southern setting, I was used to norms of restraint. If angry emotions were voiced in strong ways, they would not have been voiced, in my girlhood experiences, by women." I think I would have felt uncomfortable as well if I were watching these outbursts of anger that were apparently commonplace in this household. Just like Hicks, anger was never something I saw from my southern born-and-bred mother and grandmother, especially my grandmother. She is the epitome of Southern, and I can't say that I have ever heard her raise her voice in anger. My mother was a little better about showing anger, but then again, I watched her raise myself and my brother :) But the common theme is that we never show anger in public, whereas Laurie clearly was taught that it was okay, or perhaps her stressors at home caused her to forget the boundaries of society?

The interaction between Hicks and Laurie on pages 95-96 were quite moving. After researching her for 3 years, I bet it would be hard for Hicks not to learn to love this young girl. I wonder where Laurie is now and how she turned out?

Christy Rivers

and it will be my job as a teacher to create and provide that space.

In the past weeks, I posted about how I thought Hicks relationship with Laurie would have an affect on the type of research she gathered. Meaning that her relationship with Laurie probably altered her collections or findings. But, after this chapter I find myself wondering how any person who cares about children could not step into to help this child. I was so frustrated! I am a firm believer about placing students on a level, or giving them work that they can experience success. To me, the instruction for Laurie was no different in first grade or second grade, other than the proclamation from the teacher that she was changing and adapting a curriculum to serve the needs of all students. Did anyone read about a way that she changed instruction to fit Laurie’s needs?

I was not surprised to read about Laurie challenging the teachers, I find myself challenging the situation or others when I feel that I cannot do things correctly or “do anything right” in others eyes. Early in the chapter Hicks states: “Children knew well when adults were tired or annoyed” and Laurie knew what her teachers thought about her progress and level of academic achievement. But, there was no need for Laurie to feel this way. She experienced success when Hicks stepped in: “I began collecting books that I thought more appropriate matches to Laurie’s reading abilities, bringing these with me for each visit I brought enticing writing paper and some “artists’ crayons…I wanted to help her regain the confidence we had seen in Kindergarten” (Hicks 72). Why did her teacher not TRULY want to see this, I have a hard time believing that if that wanted to see this in Laurie, they could have done it. I am making an assumption, but I think Hicks would willingly share the things that she did to help Laurie “regain the confidence”. We read about how she regained the confidence, and the progress she made: “doing these one-on-one sessions at home, Laurie seemed enthusiastic and confident as a reader and writer”.

This chapter was just frustrating, but it also motivated me to strive to allow all children to experience success. It is reality that not all children with be pleasant to work with, but I feel that it will be my job to enable children to succeed.

Elizabeth Griffin

The story of Laurie’s literacy history was a very interesting account (frustrating at times). Throughout the passage, I could several of my own students through Laurie’s brief early biography. One of the initial aspects that stuck out in my mind was the mentioning of children’s “frustration levels.” Although the author made a point that she did not want to blame Laurie’s problems on the “institution,” I think that too often children are turned off from reading and writing because they are simply frustrated. Currently, I am taking a course in the reading department. One of the key things that is often mentioned is the importance of not frustrating our children—even if they are reading far below grade level, meet them where they are at. Honestly, I was always a “natural reader;” therefore, I never experienced as much frustration as Laurie probably did. However, while preparing to take the GRE (and during the test, itself), there were several instances where I was definitely “insecure” with my abilities. This, in turn, caused me to rush through certain areas of the test.
Another excerpt that really stood out to me (one that I see on a weekly basis with seventh graders) was Laurie’s experience with ADD. She said that she felt “powerful” before her diagnosis but not as much afterward. For some reason, students (and their parents) associate certain “conditions” with lower level intelligence and thinking. Not only do they believe this about ADD, but also the dreaded “EC” label. We probably have an IEP meeting weekly. Some of them are updates, but some of them are to discuss the possibility of a new child being considered for the EC program. I would say that 90 percent of the time, parents are twice as resistant to this as students. They do not see it as beneficial to their children, but rather a way for their children to stand out from all of the others (and not in a good way).
Children with ADD (and their parents) also struggle with medication issues. Should they or shouldn’t they? Honestly, I can’t say that I agree with one side or the other. Some children are successful with medication, but others (like Laurie in Kindergarten) struggle with the side effects of these medicines. I do not think that parents should be forced (or coerced) by a school to put their child on medication (yes, I know of a situation where this happened). Yes, these kids can sometimes be a nuisance in class, but I do not believe that they should be forced to take foreign substances.
Finally, an area of the story that I personally connected to was Laurie’s comment in second grade regarding her role as caretaker for her siblings—that she was “too old for her age.” Although I did not feel this way as young as Laurie, I completely understand what it is like to mature very quickly. My mother died at the age of 39 with inoperable brain cancer. I have two younger sisters who were only 12 and 14 when she passed. Not only did I have to help take care of my mother, but I also felt the added responsibility of helping with my younger sisters. I grew up very quickly. This affected my literacy history (even though I was 17 when she died). Therefore, I can only imagine how Laurie’s life was affected by her situation.

Heather Coe

This was a gut wrenching chapter to read. Laurie struggled both at home and at school as a result of questionable decisions made by the adults in her life. I recognize that “hindsight is twenty-twenty,” but I wonder if this story could have had a happier ending if people had made better choices along the way.

At first glance, Laurie seems to have had a great kindergarten year. She loved school, was a leader among her peers and seemed to do well. Although her academic struggles didn’t appear until first grade, it made me wonder about the foundations built in Kindergarten. I’m not sure what year this study took place, but it sounds like the whole language era where instruction is more by osmosis than intention. The whole language approach works for students who are natural readers, but not for those who struggle. So, I wonder if Laurie had received a more structured curriculum where the students learned the sound symbol relationships if she would have had a more success later? Or perhaps at least her weaknesses would have been identified earlier?

Laurie’s social and academic problems became apparent in first grade. Again, I question the teaching method at the time. Laurie needed instruction at her level and in a small group, but instead she got lost in whole group instruction. I’m sure this had a lot to do with the changes in her behavior. However, instead of addressing the real problem, they diagnosed her with ADD and gave her medication. I wonder how her mom and grandmother felt about this at the time. Did they agree? Did they simply trust that the teachers knew best?

I really felt for her young, overwhelmed mom. I’m sure she believed that she was making the best decisions possible at the time. And I think that she was doing the best she could, but I wanted to jump in and give her some parenting tips. I wonder if Hicks tried to advise her. I bet she found it hard not to! She clearly became attached to this sweet little girl. It must be difficult to try to be an objective researcher without getting emotionally involved. I sense that she didn’t agree with the ADD diagnosis. I’m thankful that she tried to help her by tutoring her and spending quality time with her.

I imagine at the time, that all of the adults involved had Laurie’s best interest at heart. But we’ve learned about better teaching practices from years of research. Looking back, it seems to me that Laurie was a struggling reader who would have benefited from intentional, foundational instruction. This certainly wouldn’t have solved all of the problems this little girl faced, but I believe that it would have made a positive difference.

Jayne Thompson

As I read Laurie's story I was so frustrated and saddened, not only because of what she went through but because I encounter students like Laurie everyday. I have two "Laurie's" in my class. I am sure this in not uncommon among other 3rd grade classes. "Something" just happens between 2nd and 3rd grade. Students that used to be successful in kindergarten through 2nd grade are suddenly struggling to find their place in the classroom.

After the 1st quarter of school I usually pull cumulative folders and copy the writing samples from the previous year and I compare them as the school year progresses. It is always interesting to see some students stop being good creative writers as they get caught up in the conventions and mechanics of writing vs. just telling a good story. I see some of my students get less interested in reading as they are expected to read more. There is always an underlying factor for this change in academic performance, and all too often it happens because of the disconnect.

I wish there was a fool proof plan for all the Laurie's in the world. Better parenting for them, more supportive and pro-active teachers for them, no more misdiagnosis of behaviors or lack thereof, and instruction that is still packed with rigor but paced for mastery. It has been my experience that once a student starts falling through the crack you have to grab them anywhere you can so that they don't fall completely. It seems that once they have completely fallen there is no coming back. From there the achievement gap just grows and grows from year to year.
Cherrita Hayden-McMillan

This chapter was absolutely heartbreaking to me, mainly because I wonder how many students in my school are going through the exact same thing. This little girl had so much promise in kindergarten. She was confident, bright, and performing on grade level but then it all seemed to go down hill. Hicks makes a good point about Laurie getting lost through the reading program, which I think all of us as teachers can agree happens. That is why we now do leveled reading. But unfortunately, Laurie wasn't exposed to that. The fact that Hicks could bring out the confident little girl who loved reading and writing from first grade in their study sessions shows that Laurie was indeed capable, but that she wasn't confident and secure in school which caused her to read, write, and try less.

Another issue I have is with the ADHD. I too think it is over diagnosed. I know we are reading about girls, but I had a a little boy in kindergarten that I absolutely loved! Sure, he was a bit dramatic, overactive, and quirky. But, we learned how to manage this energy and use it for learning. By the end of kindergarten, he was reading on a 3rd grade level!! He sailed through the book Thundercake without a single problem. Now, I am teaching second grade. He since has been diagnosed with ADHD and medicated and he is not the same little boy I knew. He is still bright, but not pushing the limits like he was. He is quiet, reserved, and obssesses over tiny things all day. I feel like a part of him was taken. I think a part of Laurie was taken. That spunky nature that gave her the confidence she needed in a life where she had so little of a voice was robbed from her, leaving her questioning her own ability. I wonder to myself, if I had been growing up during the ADHD fab years, if I would not have been medicated and if I had been, would I be where I am today?

Children like Laurie, and there are unfortunately are so many of them, have to face more struggles as a child than most face in their entire lives. She often assumed the role of a mother, since this was her reality at home. She more than likely worried over the stresses facing her caretakers, something which alotted her little time to be a child discovering the world of school. The fact that she considered herself as acting "old" in the second grade shows how much Laurie was dealing with internally. Not only did she acknowledge the fact that she was taking on responsibilities far beyond her years, she resened having to do so. Unfortunately, this seems to be more the norm, babies having babies. Now, I understand that sometimes things happen, but I see 21year olds everyday with 3 or 4 children. They have these children, then decide that they want to go back and do things right by getting an education. This often times leaves so many children living such stressful lives that they don't have the ability to focus on education and being a child.

I hate to see children like Laurie fall to the wayside. It just really breaks my heart, and unfortunately, it is something I have to see and experience everyday. We need to find a way to take care of these children and help them to balance their life the best they can. I try to do this in my class, but sometimes it just seems like their are so many children living in unbelievable circumstances, that I can't combat them all. It frustrates me because I know that they are capable of so much, but how do I help them regain their confidence and buy back into learning when they have to think and deal with their own situations and emotions?
Whitney Gilbert