RE_5539

Lisa Outland-
As I read this chapter, I realized I have taught Laurie in many different forms. I was relieved to see that she did many of the things my students do while in class. I have one little girl this year who strives to be good, raises her hand only when she is sure of the answer, and choral reads a second after everyone else. She, like Laurie, is struggling academically and working hard to hide it in being good. Laurie is so representative of the children I work with daily. Many of my students lead double lives. They are angels at school and full of chaos at home, or vice versa. Children of the working class continue to struggle with bringing their two worlds together. I think they work so hard at being good or perfect in one place that all their energies have to come out somewhere else, often in the form of behavioral issues. It was sad to read of Laurie’s personality change after going on medication for ADD. Unfortunately, this is something that I see more often than not. The loss of who the child used to be is one reason why I rarely suggest medication for a child who is struggling. I always suggest behavior modifications for the child first, medication as a last resort. So many children do lose their sense of self when on the medication. Although, I have seen the exact opposite happen and a child suddenly become a happier and better adjusted child after getting medication to help them with their issues. I wonder how different Laurie’s education may have been if she had not been put on medication that resulted in the behavior changes. Would it really have been different, or would she have lost herself just the same? How many children do we see in the classroom who live through this same thing? I thought it was very fascinating to read the part about Laurie and Nicholas. I have often seen this same type of roll play in kindergarten and knew it was often a representation of how their homes lives are or wish they could be, but this really did put a different perspective on it for me. I rarely interfere with children in the dramatic play area and now I am glad that I have this rule. They are working out and merging their two worlds together.
This entire chapter was so eye opening for me. As I mentioned, I saw so many of my own students in Laurie’s stories. I have always had an idea of what was going on, but now I see how truly heartbreaking it can be for a child to try to conform to the norms when they are not capable. I realize I must continue to work with small groups in my class so that each child does get the more individualized instruction that some of them so desperately need. It was very heartbreaking to read about Laurie’s change in attitude because she thought her mother was going to marry. Her whole world became so much more positive because she thought she was going to have the family she always wanted. Then for her to be so devastated when things did not work out, just pulled at my heart strings. How can I take these situations and find a way to continue to pull out the desire for great school involvement even after the devastation? I see this sort of home/school connection all the time. How can we continue to empower children in their literacy skills after their world falls apart? I always encourage my children to write or draw what they are feeling, but is this enough? Laurie’s spruced up stories and those she completely made up do remind me of my own students. Those who long for something else in this world. How wonderful it is that they will let me in and see what their longings and desires are made of. I think Laurie doing this in class as well as my own students shows a level of trust and an unknowingly willingness to intertwine their own two worlds. I did not realize how fortunate I am to have those stories shared with me in any form. What I took from this chapter over everything else is, how can we continue to empower girls in the classroom and draw from the strengths of their home lives

Lisa Outland-
As I read this chapter, I realized I have taught Laurie in many different forms. I was relieved to see that she did many of the things my students do while in class. I have one little girl this year who strives to be good, raises her hand only when she is sure of the answer, and choral reads a second after everyone else. She, like Laurie, is struggling academically and working hard to hide it in being good. Laurie is so representative of the children I work with daily. Many of my students lead double lives. They are angels at school and full of chaos at home, or vice versa. Children of the working class continue to struggle with bringing their two worlds together. I think they work so hard at being good or perfect in one place that all their energies have to come out somewhere else, often in the form of behavioral issues. It was sad to read of Laurie’s personality change after going on medication for ADD. Unfortunately, this is something that I see more often than not. The loss of who the child used to be is one reason why I rarely suggest medication for a child who is struggling. I always suggest behavior modifications for the child first, medication as a last resort. So many children do lose their sense of self when on the medication. Although, I have seen the exact opposite happen and a child suddenly become a happier and better adjusted child after getting medication to help them with their issues. I wonder how different Laurie’s education may have been if she had not been put on medication that resulted in the behavior changes. Would it really have been different, or would she have lost herself just the same? How many children do we see in the classroom who live through this same thing? I thought it was very fascinating to read the part about Laurie and Nicholas. I have often seen this same type of roll play in kindergarten and knew it was often a representation of how their homes lives are or wish they could be, but this really did put a different perspective on it for me. I rarely interfere with children in the dramatic play area and now I am glad that I have this rule. They are working out and merging their two worlds together.
This entire chapter was so eye opening for me. As I mentioned, I saw so many of my own students in Laurie’s stories. I have always had an idea of what was going on, but now I see how truly heartbreaking it can be for a child to try to conform to the norms when they are not capable. I realize I must continue to work with small groups in my class so that each child does get the more individualized instruction that some of them so desperately need. It was very heartbreaking to read about Laurie’s change in attitude because she thought her mother was going to marry. Her whole world became so much more positive because she thought she was going to have the family she always wanted. Then for her to be so devastated when things did not work out, just pulled at my heart strings. How can I take these situations and find a way to continue to pull out the desire for great school involvement even after the devastation? I see this sort of home/school connection all the time. How can we continue to empower children in their literacy skills after their world falls apart? I always encourage my children to write or draw what they are feeling, but is this enough? Laurie’s spruced up stories and those she completely made up do remind me of my own students. Those who long for something else in this world. How wonderful it is that they will let me in and see what their longings and desires are made of. I think Laurie doing this in class as well as my own students shows a level of trust and an unknowingly willingness to intertwine their own two worlds. I did not realize how fortunate I am to have those stories shared with me in any form. What I took from this chapter over everything else is, how can we continue to empower girls in the classroom and draw from the strengths of their home lives?

After this reading, I couldn't help but think about my own childhood. I have the same "good girl" memories of church, Vacation Bible school, and (I still love it!) Kool Aid. In fact, the memories are so vivid that I can still smell the musty upstairs classroom where my Vacation Bible school class took place. (I loved that smell!) I also remember the strong desire to be a "good girl" to make my mother proud. This desire led me to make alot of "safe" decisions in my life that, looking back, I regret.

My mother never went to college. My grandparents couldn't afford to send their children to college. College, to my mother, was a dream that she would never fulfill. I'm sure that was why it was so important to her that my sister and I attend college. When I graduated from high school, my mother wanted me to attend a community college that offered an extremely limited number of programs. None of these interested me, but this college was my only choice. My mom was afraid for me to "go away" to college. Because she hadn't attended college, she didn't realize that not all colleges and universities were the same. Not wanting to disappoint my mother, I attended the college she chose. It took me almost ten years to return to college and attend the university that I wanted to attend in the first place. My initial "safe" decision took me ten years to "undo."

While reading this chapter, I kep thinking that in our society, especially in the south, the "good girl" image leaves so many girls feeling like they have to please everyone around them. For me it was my mother. It was also my teachers. While this is a good trait in many instances, it is also detrimental. I want my daughter to be a "good girl," but I also want her to be a strong girl who goes after what she wants in life - regardless of my opinion (within reason, of course... hahaha). I want the same for the girls in my classroom. I don't want them to be timid. I want them to have confidence and jump in with both feet, regardless of the consequences.

Laurie made me think of a child I had in my class this year. Her mother warned me about this little girl, I'll call Amy. She said Amy was, basically, a terror who would not follow directions and would disrupt my class. She told me to call her whenever there was a behavior problem and she would "step in" to handle it from home. This conversation made me dread working with the child. I had two children in my class that I was already aware of that had special behavioral challenges. I really didn't want a third. Amy, it turns out, was fine. She was polite in our interactions and was kind with her classmates. I asked her to help in doing various activities in the classroom, which seemed to bolster her self-esteem. The more I gave her to do to help me, the more helpful (and better behaved) she became. It was wonderful! (Her low academic performance also started to improve.) Her mother was shocked to find out about her behavior. To be truthful, I was sad to see the school year end. Amy was such a sweet little girl who thrived on being viewed as a "good girl." Isn't that what all children want?

As I read about Laurie in Chapter 4 it made me consider a trio of girls in my classroom this year. Within this triangle there was a constant struggle to be the best friend of one. Each of these girls were bright and working on grade level but two of them came from working class homes where the mother was the central figure. The other was from a middle class family. While reading I realized that I witnessed a similar scenario within their revolving relationship and tensions that filtered into their journal writing in which they could write freely about a chosen topic.
This year because of a smaller class size it afforded me an opportunity to get to know my students on a more personal level. I made the effort to attend ballgames and birthday parties which gave me alot of insight into their lives and behaviors outside of school. What I found was exactly what the book described. The two working class girls had almost a different personality in their family setting than they did at school. At school they desired to be more like the middle class girl and constantly struggled with achieving her acceptance. She in turn perhaps unaware played the role of "good girl" and wielded her power to befriend one today and the other the next. Often the weaknesses of the "odd-one-out" were verbalized. We spent many recesses discussing how best to communicate with each other while following our rules of "Be kind", "Be Safe", "Be Responsible" and "Be Respectful". Through these conversations I think I attempted to help these girls move between their two worlds, however that was on a more social level.
In looking back I too, as Ms. Hicks did, wonder if I could have used this as a critical learning arena during Reading and Writing. I had a tendancy to keep this struggle at bay due to my own teaching agenda during class time. Once again I am considering the author's point and question when it would be more effective to abandon my method and strive for contextualization of their reality at that moment. Would better understanding and engagement evolve for my students?
I also considered the willingness of Laurie's mother to make this change for her daughter. With many of my students from working class families I find a reluctance to accept help or the fact that their child is struggling. With many I perceive this as a lack of value for education because of their own school history, but now I wonder if it has more to do with acceptance or denial of their social class. Or perhaps it is a reluctance to accept that a middle class teacher really cares about them or their child. Could it be embarrassment and did my questioning cause it? This chapter has given me alot to think about not only the fictions of my students but what fictions might I have build around them through my own middle class perception?

This chapter began with the history of Laurie. I really felt for Laurie as the author began describing how her personality changed with the induction of medicine for ADD. As teachers we all have students every year that exhibit the ADD traits and some are medicated and some are not. I have often thought I wonder how these children will be in 10, 15 or even 25 years. It seems almost cruel to have so many children medicated for such long periods of time. I know ADD truly exists and believe me I have had my fair share of students who have had ADD or ADHD, but are there really this many children today that have these disorders or is it poor parenting or even environmental issues? I find it hard to believe that sometimes up to 1/3 of a classroom can and need to be medicated for attention difficulties.

The academic difficulties that Laurie experience were very typical of students that have attention problems. I really felt for Laurie while reading. We all have students that just seem to really struggle with reading. I did wonder why Laurie was expected to do the same program as the other students when she was being taught by a “seasoned teacher” in first grade. I felt some interventions were really missed for Laurie in the regular classroom. She did have the Title One reading group, but by then the gap was really too big for her try and close. Early intervention is vital for struggling readers.

Laurie was also hindered academically by her home life. I felt so sorry for Laurie when I read about her dreams of a fairy tale family that she would never have. Sometimes life can be so cruel to children. Often adults are unaware of how much their children are hearing and internalizing. The home issues Laurie faced had to take a big toll on her personal and academic life.

The observer in Laurie’s classroom that eventually became her tutor played a vital role for Laurie. She was a friend, teacher and role model. She helped to give Laurie the attention and love that she needed during difficult moments in her academic career. Laurie’s mother and grandmother also helped to mold her personality. They created an independent, active and motivated little girl. I hope that in the future Laurie experiences even more positive things at school and home. If she continues medication, I hope to read that it will help her behavior and not hinder her bubbly personality.

This chapter began with the history of Laurie. I really felt for Laurie as the author began describing how her personality changed with the induction of medicine for ADD. As teachers we all have students every year that exhibit the ADD traits and some are medicated and some are not. I have often thought I wonder how these children will be in 10, 15 or even 25 years. It seems almost cruel to have so many children medicated for such long periods of time. I know ADD truly exists and believe me I have had my fair share of students who have had ADD or ADHD, but are there really this many children today that have these disorders or is it poor parenting or even environmental issues? I find it hard to believe that sometimes up to 1/3 of a classroom can and need to be medicated for attention difficulties.

The academic difficulties that Laurie experience were very typical of students that have attention problems. I really felt for Laurie while reading. We all have students that just seem to really struggle with reading. I did wonder why Laurie was expected to do the same program as the other students when she was being taught by a “seasoned teacher” in first grade. I felt some interventions were really missed for Laurie in the regular classroom. She did have the Title One reading group, but by then the gap was really too big for her try and close. Early intervention is vital for struggling readers.

Laurie was also hindered academically by her home life. I felt so sorry for Laurie when I read about her dreams of a fairy tale family that she would never have. Sometimes life can be so cruel to children. Often adults are unaware of how much their children are hearing and internalizing. The home issues Laurie faced had to take a big toll on her personal and academic life.

The observer in Laurie’s classroom that eventually became her tutor played a vital role for Laurie. She was a friend, teacher and role model. She helped to give Laurie the attention and love that she needed during difficult moments in her academic career. Laurie’s mother and grandmother also helped to mold her personality. They created an independent, active and motivated little girl. I hope that in the future Laurie experiences even more positive things at school and home. If she continues medication, I hope to read that it will help her behavior and not hinder her bubbly personality.

As I began reading Chapter 4, I quickly connected Laurie to a young lady in my 4th grade classroom this year. The young lady, whom I will call Kay, initially won my heart with her warmth and laughter. As the year got underway I noticed immediately that Kay was the nurturer and “mother hen” of my classroom. Kay was very bossy and authoritative towards the other students. Surprisingly, my students accepted Kay as she was and were not bothered by her behavior. Academically, Kay was well below the 4th grade level but did put great effort into all of her work. After the first few weeks of school, I was notified that Kay’s mother was blind and that she suffered severely from diabetes. I was told that when Kay returned home from school everyday her job was to care for her mother. Kay was the cook, cleaner, and caretaker of the home. Just like Laurie, Kay “brought to her [4th] grade classroom a history of assuming a motherly role at home.” Kay was only doing what she knew to do best: take care of others. Our classroom was shocked and saddened in early October when we were told that Kay’s mother had died. As I stood talking to my classroom that morning, Kay walked in the classroom door. At first I was shocked and wondered, “Why is this child here at school when her mother just passed away?” Then, I realized, that Kay was there because school was the only “normal” place in her life. Kay considered our classroom as her family and she really did consider her classmates as her kids. Kay came to school everyday during this time except on the day of her mother’s funeral. When she cried my children cried with her. Kay left one week after the funeral to go and live with her real father in Washington, D.C. Unfortunately we have not been able to reach Kay since that time. I wanted to share this story because I want everyone to be reminded that we really do need to be aware of our students’ lives at home. As educators we should always make sure that we “know” our students as much as possible. I will never forget Kay because I probably learned as much from her as she did from me.

The section on “Anger” discussed Laurie’s diagnosis of ADD. Sometimes one wonders if teachers/doctors use this diagnosis as a “quick-fix” to solve more severe underlying problems. I was saddened when the author stated, “we noted that she seemed to lose her voice after being diagnosed and medicated for ADD.” What seemed odd to me was the fact that the examples given by the author involved her home life rather than her school life. To me, it seemed that her “ADD” was brought on by her stress and circumstances at home; not her school environment. Shouldn’t a child with ADD express behavior such as this in all circumstances (home & school)? I’m not a psychologist so I do not have the answer; but one does wonder if placing Laurie on medication was the best choice.

As I began to read about Laurie’s first grade learning difficulties I began to honestly wonder about her teacher and observer. If these people saw that Laurie was having difficulties, why didn’t they step in earlier in the year? It seems that no one bothered to intervene until they thought that she was going to fail. Another thing that bothered me about 1st grade was the lack of differentiation within the classroom. I fully believe that using an anthology a few days a week is fine; however, where were the leveled readers / small flexible groups? There was no way for Laurie to experience success. As an experienced teacher I am positive that Laurie was not the only child in that classroom experiencing difficulties.

When looking at Laurie’s 2nd grade year I became much more hopeful for her success. Although the author connects much of Laurie’s happiness with the hope of getting a dad, I have to say that I think the classroom environment had a lot to do with her happiness. Laurie’s 2nd grade teacher appeared to be the type of teacher who tried to find ways for her students to be successful. I also loved the fact that the Chapter one class also helped to bolster her confidence and make her a more active participant at school. As I read Laurie’s writing and read the author’s observations, I was once again reminded of how life situations (desire for a dad) affected Laurie as a student. The author states, “Changes in this important relationship may have contributed to the variability in Laurie’s responses to academic activities.” This just reconfirms the idea that we should each try to get to “know” our students and the many variables that play into their lives.

The following statement written by the author rings very true: “With classes that are too large to manage and increasingly stiff curriculum mandates, it has become difficult for teachers to come to know children with the kind of depth that engenders successful change.” I challenge not only myself, but each of you to find ways to get to “know” your students.

As much as I enjoyed reading and rereading the third chapter, I struggled through this chapter, not because it was a difficult read but because I found the message sad, almost disturbing. Laurie's story was one that parallels the story of many young female students who must deal with conflicting messages at home, at school and within society. Quite often, young female students are expected to be nurturing, a positive and unselfish characteristic, to the extent that they abandon other characteristics such as competetive impluses which are interpreted as selfish. In our society, the female student has traditionally been encouraged to develop self-denying traits even as the male student has been allowed the freedom to pursue a more self-fulfilling/selfish behavior. Laurie was allowed the freedom to be "bossy" only because it was in the context of "mothering." Hicks stresses that Laurie's behavior became more and more compliant, due partly to the ADD medication but also because of expectations for "good girl" behavior. As Hicks points out, being good was the acceptable means to gaining power for a girl. This discussion brought back memories of my own elementary experiences. In particular, I recall a disappointing experience in 5th grade; my teacher announced that we would have math teams and the two top math students would be the captains. She then proceeded to state that even though I had one of the top scores in math, I wouldn't be a captain because the two next best scores were boys who would more appropriately be captains!!!

I was saddened by the unfolding tale of Laurie's search for identity as a romantic object, first with Nicholas and then with Steven. Obviously she was repeating the social expectations communicated to her by her mother, expectations that finding, securing, a "prince" was the ultimate life goal. Even though her mother was attending college, Laurie was influenced more significantly by the social view of femininity than by the importance of education. Laurie's value system reflected her upbringing and her home experience but they also reflected a set of social expectations that still exist. Today, as I worked on cum folders in my classroom, the granddaughter of a co-worker watched SNOW WHITE on my television and I was reminded that many little girls still hear the refrain from "Some Day My Prince Will Come" and dream of being rescued from the need to find their own professional identify. I was struck by Walkerdine's statement that "many young girls do not understand high attainment and femininity as antithetical."

Laurie sought to belong and her academic struggles impeded that sense of belonging in the classroom. Through writing, Laurie was able to attempt to find her voice but her story was not one of success. Although Hicks strives to include many of the factors that contributed to Laurie's lack of academic success, she admits that her history does include 'being disabled by a system of institutional practices" similar to our current obsession with standardized methodologies and assessments. I continue to worry that my students are discouraged by the emphasis upon mandated standards to the exclusion of creativity and spontaneity in the classroom. Hicks encourages us, as educators, to seek to know our students, to understand their realities so that we can "respond in ways that extend from those contextualized understandings." Hicks points to the vastly different social/educational expectations that existed between Laure and herself; she suggests that through building a sense of trust, she was able to meet Laurie "halfway" in developing a sense of literacy. I found the story of their final exchange, the trip to Borders, to be a sad, almost meaningless, experience. I was saddened that though they obviously had formed a bond (student to tutor), their actions did not reveal much intimacy, Laurie did state that she "loved" Hicks but the descriptions of the interchange between student and tutor didn't reveal much depth of feeling. I was discouraged by the chapter because I feared that the message was that we are not only shaped by our histories but limited by them. I hope that my students (and my own children) can work beyond the limitations of their own histories.
Betsy Baldwin

Mrs. Hicks made a comment in chapter 1 that let me know that i'd enjoy chapters 4 & 5 b/c i was a teacher. Well, she is correct so far. I liked learning about Laurie, even though her situation is heartbreaking, and not far from the reality of many young girls. I had a young girl this year that was in almost the exact same situation as Laurie, academically, socially, and physically. I've seen what Laurie probably was like in 4th grade. I wish the author would do a follow-up study, just so we could see if there were any teachers that took her under their wings and helped her to grow. Our job is so powerful that someone actually could help Laurie turn around for the better. However, and i think Mrs. Hicks would agree, Laurie's social class will always be a part of her (mentally and most likely, physically).

I found myself really analyzing this chapter and Laurie's situation. I practically underlined the whole chapter in blue ink. I just kept thinking about what could be done to help Laurie. It bothers me that she had such a boring 1st grade teacher. She seemed to just want to follow the curriculum and the books that the county provided. But, as Mrs. Hicks stated, they just were going too fast for Laurie. This is a situtation that occurs way too frequently. Reading instruction has to be individualized, especially if a child is having problems with whole-class instruction. I'm hoping her teacher didn't do anything about it b/c Laurie was such a "good girl" actress, that she just didn't realize the implications. This is the case for many young girls. They put on the act and slip by the system. As teachers, we need to be on the lookout for our "good girls" and ask ourselves why they are behaving like they are. We also need to delve into our student's lives and find out who they really are. As mentioned at the end of the chapter, teachers do not have much time to do this anymore.....but we need to try to make time! It would be especially helpful at the beginning of the year, during get to know you activities. Does anyone have any good ideas for getting kids to open up to you early????

I was saddened by Laurie's relationships in K-2. In kindergarten, Laurie was the model student who was the mother/girlfriend figure to Nicholas. She was popular and assertive and empowered. I think she acted like the mother to Nicholas b/c she was a caretaker at home (page 65: "I'm too old for my age.") A child should never have to think this way. This statement brought me back to reality and helped me to see how all of this ties together with class. In a working-class family, children are often called upon to be another grown-up in the house. This is a problem and creates inner conflicts for the child. Kids should be kids. However, back to reality, hard-working parents need help in order to make it in this world. Kids who grow up in privileged families, don't have to usually take on this extra responsibility. No wonder kids like Laurie struggle. I can't imagine the hardships that they face. Once in first and second grade, things started piling up for Laurie. Her life was more complicated and academics became too hard for her. Couldn't you just see her falling between the cracks???Yet, hardly anyone was able to help her. What a sad situation.

So, how can we as teachers use this chapter to help the Laurie's in our classrooms?? What can we do to help them sort through their personal issues as well as succeed academically?

Fictions of Girlhood (Chapter 4) - Laura Wollpert

Chapter four depicts Laurie as a struggling reader and writer. She wants to be a good girl at school and she sort fakes her way through (as much as possible) with good behavior. She begins to show deviant behavior at home that suggests a conflict. As I read further about little girls play a thought entered my mind. How do we educate girls and boys on all the possible roles that may be in store for them? When I look to my friends, I see every example possible. For instance, one friend is the bread winner of the family while her husband has been a stay-at-home dad. I have other friends where both the mother and father work and all the childcare and house work are shared. Further, I have friends were both parents have very professional and demanding jobs, but the mother of the house still tends to most of the house hold chores while employing some paid help. Still others, the mother decided to stay home to care for the children. How do we raise children to be prepared for all of these different roles in life? Our family structure is changing, as it should with more women working, boys need to be prepared to take on more domestic roles that have been typically female. Do any of these issues surface in the classroom?

As I read further about Laurie, I thought about her experience in second grade where she believes she will have a new daddy and how this changed her academic outlook. When the new daddy left, her dreams were shattered and her academic performance began to once again deteriorate. In today’s world how often does this occur? I remember when I taught Japanese at the elementary level in Michigan, one fourth grade class had three intact families out of 24 students. How do children deal with the reality of a broken family and school at the same time?

As Laurie’s story came to an end, I was saddened. I would like to know what happened to her as she progressed in school. Does she ever catch up to her peers? I can imagine that every classroom has a Laurie. It almost seems that Laurie should have been retained in first grade. She seemed so far behind in second grade. I know there are many issues when retaining a child, but it seems like the frustration will become so great that it is better to do it sooner then later.

I love Laurie’s imaginative stories about horses and unicorns. I hope this imagination continues to flourish as she grows up. I wonder if her mother read imaginative stories to her at bedtime. Maybe that would allow a place for her to dream and escape.

Laura Wollpert

I must admit that while I really enjoyed reading this chapter, it was not what I expected. I was so enthralled to read the story of Laurie and her struggles with literacy learning. However, I was deeply disheartened to hear of her seemingly increasing inability to perform at the level of her classroom peers. One of the biggest reasons Laurie had such difficulty in becoming proficient in reading was due to the textbook series adopted by her school system. Even more disturbing to me was the fact that Laurie’s teacher seemed unwilling to adapt to the needs of her students when she realized that this book series was not allowing some of her students to progress at the rate necessary. I had a professor in college who liked to share lots of horror stories, like Laurie’s, related to textbooks, so I must admit I have been a little wary of using them since I began teaching in January. In fact, this past semester, I rarely, if ever, used the textbooks that have been adopted by our school system. Actually, the math textbook is the only one I used at all. Does anyone else have an opinion on textbooks or even how to use them in an engaging way? I certainly don’t want to bore my students to death, but I do want to ensure that they are being taught in an effective, step by step process, which textbooks, at least math textbooks, tend to do a good job of outlining.

Another important point that Hicks touched on was the fact that a diagnosis, not necessarily the medication used to treat it, can often affect a student’s performance and acceptance of themselves and by their peers. Hicks stated, “The diagnosis changed her [Laurie’s] social relations in school in ways that extended beyond the side effects of the medication itself.” I think this is an extremely valid point, but often an issue that is overlooked. I think it is very important to be sensitive to a child’s feelings and opinions about themselves all the time, but particularly during the process of diagnosis because this can significantly alter how a child thinks about themselves. A child can determine that they are not smart, are not liked by their peers and teachers, and a myriad of other things just through the title of a diagnosis. For example, this year one of my students, who was normally outgoing, bubbly, funny, friendly, and well-liked by his peers, was diagnosed with diabetes. This took a significant toll on his self-image. Suddenly, he was very aware of his weight and what his peers might think if they saw him prick his finger. He was embarrassed that he needed to go to the bathroom more often than his classmates and that he had to leave our classroom early to go to lunch so that he could receive his insulin shot before going to the cafeteria. While a lot of these changes were certainly determined by the insulin and glucometer and other tools he needed to use on a daily basis, some of his self-concept was shaped and changed by the fact that he was different than everyone else in our classroom. No one else had to do the things that he did or eat the things that he did, etc. Children are keenly aware of whether they or someone else is different. This is an issue that teachers must be extremely delicate and supportive with. These children need to know that we still love them the way they are, that their diagnosis does not change who they are in our classroom, and that it is okay to not be exactly like everybody else.

I also found Hicks ideas regarding how girls and boys gain power in the classroom to be very interesting, and hit right on target. Of course these ideas may not apply to every single child, but overall I have found in my classroom that boys gain their meaning and power in the classroom from being cool or funny, even if this means being “bad”, and girls tend to do this by doing what is necessary to please the teacher, thus making them “good”. Hicks said, “Though boys…can gain power through voicing their resistance to the roles associated with being good, girls often seek power through being ‘nice, kind, and helpful’.” Hicks also found a connection between the gender of the teacher and the behavior of a student: “Girls…align themselves with the values they associate with real schoolwork and with their teachers, often women in primary school.” There is no doubt about the fact that we lack male role-models in the education field, particularly at the elementary level. However, I had never considered the fact that this may contribute to girls showing more studious behaviors, such as better studying and organization skills. Could this be because they associate these behaviors with their teachers (women), whom they see to be successful adults? Perhaps boys have more difficulties with these concepts because they lack the male role-model of their teacher to show them that these skills are important for grown men as well as women. Does anybody else have thoughts on this? ~Allison Reese

Every student wants to feel empowered in school: the growing confidence a child feels when he/she engages in successful learning experiences. The problem is that many children lose their feelings of empowerment because the curriculum is moving too fast and is over their heads. They can't keep up with the pace that is expected to learn in order to be successful in the classroom. It seems foolish for the "powers that be" to expect all children to develop and progress at the exact same rate, and at the exact same age. Some children need more time to learn concepts and skills, while others catch on and understand during the first lesson. I don't understand why the people in charge of setting educational standards for children don't seem to acknowledge that every child is unique and needs to progress at a rate that fits his/her stage of development and style of learning.

I can identify with what happened when Laurie was unable to make the necessary progress at the expected rate to read the Houghton Mifflin basal reader in first grade. When I first started teaching, every child was expected to read the same Houghton Mifflin basal reader. The book was easy for some students, just right for some, and too difficult for others. I didn't feel good about the reading instruction I provided, with what I felt was a limited resource, because it failed to meet the individual instructional needs of all of my students and was more or less "hit and miss" reading instruction. Thankfully a few years ago our school system adopted a guided reading philosophy. Now students in my class are placed in flexible reading groups, according to their reading ability, and receive guided reading instruction in literature books that match their level of reading. Possibly in spite of the material and social stresses she dealt with at home, Laurie's first grade literacy experiences could have had a more positive turnout if her first grade teacher had access to our guided reading training and bookroom containing hundreds of guided reading books from all different reading levels. Maybe then, the pace of learning would have been just right for her.

On the other hand, maybe the key to ensuring success for all students, regardless of how quickly they progress, is helping them to feel social success and confidence, which hopefully will "spill over into their academic work". We teachers need to avoid the mistake of being overly attentive to a child's academic performance while ignoring the child's needs for attention and nurturing. Balancing these elements is not an easy task that definitely requires tact.

Wow, how much I enjoyed this chapter, by the end of Hicks stories and descriptions,I felt I really knew Laurie. At first I was apprehensive about Hick's description of Laurie taking on a domestic role with her relationship with Nicholas. I felt Hicks was reading to much into her actions, after all the child was only in kindergarten. Yet as I continued on, I began to understand. Laurie seemed to be shaping herself around what gave her power and a place. "Taking care" of Nicholas gave her power. Being a good girl at school, pleasing her teachers, acting out at home, disconnecting from schoolwork, it all gave her power admist her working class girlhood.

I felt like the most heartbreaking moment for me reading Laurie's story, was when Hicks said during Laurie's first grade year, she "began living a dual existence as a model student who was learning how to fail". Hicks tells how Laurie began to rummage in her desk, quietly chat with her peers through out lessons, as well as stubbornly refuse to try something new. I think she simply did not want to fail. She would then lose her power. If things seemed too difficult, she would not try. Good gracious how many students I have like Laurie in this regard! The more frightening part for me is that they are middle schoolers displaying these behaviors, and they are only falling more and more behind. Just as Laurie, my students lose motivation when work or reading is too high for them. The complexities of dealing with 12 to 15 year olds all in the same room on various grade levels from 2-12 with different situated "histories" is sometimes too much to take in. Just as Hicks says, " in retrospect, a literacy program developed to suit Laurie's needs may have helped her literacy difficulties" frustrates me. I feel so many of my students needed a program like this, and still do. If we know this as educators and an educational system, why are we not doing something different? Then, as I continued to read on, how Hicks wrote that then something happened, that Laurie suddenly became interested in learning and school, I readdressed my prior thought. It was obvious Laurie was suddenly excited because she was going to have a new daddy. Hicks calls this a girlhood fantasy, I would like to think of it more as a dream. Just as easily as Laurie was excited, she was instantly disappointed. Do we really have any power over these children's literacies? After all the time Hicks spent with Laurie, the only thing that really got her excited about school was something going on a home. Can we really battle our student's home life's and win? I love when Hicks stated, "Such is the power of stories, as they assume moral weight and influence in the context of our histories". Earlier I mentioned what seemed to give Laurie power in her girlhood. The "stories" Laurie lived seemed to have complete power over her all along. Her identities continually competed between home and school. We may never completely understand the realities of our students lives, yet we can give them a chance to live fictions in our classroom and more importantly, the chance to make those fictions histories.

It was interesting reading about Laurie from kindergarten through second grade. I enjoyed reading about her relationship with Nicholas. Being a kindergarten teacher, this is definitely easy to picture. Since Laurie assumed a motherly role at home, I guess it was easy and natural for her to carry this over to school. She felt comfortable in this role. She also had another role that she could assume with Nicholas and that was being an adolescent with him. This seemed like an important relationship for her. They seemed very close since they ignored another child in a center. There was a part in the book that said, "She was academically and socially more mature than he was, and this gave her an edge of authority." The motherly identity was in her and I believe this made her feel good about herself. I'm sure that she liked the authority and she knew that she could have that with Nicholas. I found it interesting how it limited her academic practices with the goop episode. Sometimes this happens with kindergartners. You want them to get something out of it academically but instead it may be more domesticated. But I believe that is alright sometimes because at the kindergarten age children are learning social skills and how to get along. They are also learning through play. I read a poem about children and play and it said that when you see your child playing in the homeliving center, for example, your child may be learning how to be a mom or dad someday.
Laurie seemed to have a successful kindergarten year and progressed in academics throughout the year.

I believe that it was unfortunate that in her first grade year, part of the problem was due to the reading series. I could see how this could happen. I have had some series in the past and couldn't believe some of the books in it. Some books were too difficult to read and other books were ones that no one would want to pick up and read because they were not very meaningful. Fortunately, in my kindergarten classroom now, we can take and use what we deem appropriate. We also have a reading book room where teachers have wonderful reading materials appropriate for our students. We can use these in our guided reading lessons and find books that are interesting for the children to read. I believe this approach would have been much better for Laurie. I know the teacher was committed to teaching the adopted curriculum but what could she have done for Laurie? I feel that if it wasn't working for Laurie that the teacher should have explored a different avenue. The same approach doesn't necessarily work for all children.

As I continued to read, I was saddened by Laurie's regression in school after her ADD diagnosis. I like how Deborah Hicks became an advocate for Laurie and combined work on reading and writing with a nurturing relationship. I believe it helped when she found an area of common interest. I found the story touching at the end when Laurie said, "I love you" to Deborah Hicks. This story reminded me of a girl in my classroom. As my research project, I read to her an extra ten minutes a day. We would go to some quiet place and spend time reading together. This was something that she didn't get much of at home. The girl began to enjoy reading books. She wanted to retell and sometimes act out the stories. She would always say, "Don't forget. We have to read today." One day as she was getting on the bus she said to me "I love you." I like the way Deborah Hick says it. "Our relationhip, which by that time was one of mutual caring and acceptance, helped to make such movement between practices possible. Though we were living our lives in different class settings, we were in this moment of teaching and learning able to move between and across those disparate locations." She also goes on to say that this is possible in classrooms but it can be difficult.

After reading this chapter, I thought of so many ideas to address. To conclude, I have enjoyed teaching Writers' Workshop this year. My children have been successful at it just as it seemed to be good for Laurie. Great chapter!

“Fictions of Girlhood” tell the story of so many young girls and teenagers in our schools today. I found the reading interesting, but sad as well. As I read, I thought about Laurie and others like her who deal with difficulties at school due to their home lives and what internal conflicts they must go through.

I enjoyed reading this in-depth description of Laurie’s life from kindergarten to second grade. It gave me a lot of insight on what some girls at my school face. I was raised in a home with a mother and father and cannot imagine how it feels to be without a father and the effects it can have on my learning, but I have seen situations in my own extended family were this same situation has affected my relatives. The lack of emotional attention at home can cause a child to act out in home and at school as Laurie did. If a teacher or school does not understand what is going on or know how to interact with a child dealing with this it can affect their education and social relations. I have an eleven-year-old cousin who does not know his father and is dealing with the same thing Laurie dealt with. The fantasies, the problems at school, the diagnoses of ADD, and school failure are all so real in his world. It is a sad reality that the school system does not know how to help a child like this and thus they are placed on medication, risk failure, and often times placed in special education. I think we need more involvement between school and mental health agencies to try to help these students if the parents are unable to assist us. It is interesting how children who start average in school begin to fall behind because of the conflicts between home and school. Our emotional development plays a large role in how we function academically. I think in order for a child to continue to make steady gains in schools they have to be a balance between physical, social, emotional, and cognitive development and any part is out of whack it can interfere with their learning.

The unfortunate thing about children who grow up too fast or are placed in situations where they have to care for other siblings or families members is that is cause them to mature too early in some areas and it creates an imbalance in their lives. Laurie had to help raise her sibling and this caused her to act more mature and take on the role of mother in the classroom. Not only did this affect her social relations with other students, but also it caused her to butt heads with her teachers. At my school, a second grade teacher shared with me how she has a student who is mothering and she can be sweet at times, but she is not learning what she needs to know. When children are asked questions, she interrupts to answer or tells the students they are not correct; however, she has no clue what is being discussed either. When the teacher tries to tell her this it is as though she does not hear her and the next time she does the same thing again. She also displays this same behavior in social situations. Although she is sweet, the teacher was beginning to become upset because of her behavior, but it was difficult to get the child to change. She was the oldest child and she was doing the same thing at home. How do you change this behavior in girls when it is a part of them because of their responsibilities at home? I know a 5th grade teacher who had a similar problem, but could not help the girl see that her interfering was affecting her class.

It was disheartening to read how vibrant and confident Laurie was in kindergarten then for it all to change and her to struggle in 1st then 2nd grade. The text mentioned that problems at home plus the curriculum material used at school contributed to Laurie’s difficulties in reading. It would seem that if the teacher would have tried to differentiate even a little that Laurie may have had more success and not have fallen so far behind. I know that using the basal and curriculum supplements given may be good for most children, but one program does not work for all. It is sad that some teachers are unable to see this and even if they do know this, they do not do it because of the time it takes to gather different materials. Not saying all teachers feel this way, but I have worked with quite a few who believe their way is the correct way although it may not work for a few students. At certain grades, it may be necessary to give children a little extra to help them meet the demands of the next grade especially when the academic practices are different from one grade level to the next.

I was glad to see that Laurie did make improvements and the relationship between her and Deborah Hicks evolved. It shows us that although teachers and their students may have different values or come from different backgrounds they can find a way to connect to our children, give them attention, and hope they get what they need. I think the implications Hicks give at the end of the chapter gives us all something to think about and try with our students.

Heather Holland

Laurie was faced with similar circumstances that my students face. She was expected to be a “good girl”. When she could not be a “good girl”, and control herself, she was labeled—ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Why are school institutions so quick to label? As a relatively new teacher, I wonder why we, as a society, must label EVERYTHING! If someone does not act how he/she is expected to act, then there must me something wrong. I find this so difficult to swallow. When I was an undergrad student, I was expected to value differences, and teach the child. I was supposed to accommodate and make adaptations for the learner. These were the “best practices” that I was taught and expected to follow. Never did a professor tell me that I needed to make the child fit into a mold. However, in the educational setting, if the teacher does not know how to “deal with the child” or educate him/her, the teacher must have the child tested. Why?! I get so upset when this happens. There are definite circumstances where children need medication, but with Laurie? I think she needed some behavioral modifications, some counseling per say, or maybe just an accepting teacher who was willing to understand. Learning to become a “good girl” or “good boy” is expected in our society. Yes, teachers want students to know how to behave and respect others, but we (teachers) must admit that many of us expect kids to meet certain criteria—like walk in a straight line, sit up in the chair with both feet on the floor, and use your indoor voice. These are expectations that I have in my room, but for some children, simply sitting up straight in their seat with both feet on the floor is an absolutely unmanageable task. For these children that do not fit the mold, I make adaptations.

I feel that Laurie’s educational experiences were compromised by our society’s impatient or maybe even lazy way of dealing with behavioral issues. In my opinion, Laurie’s gaping wound that needed to be sewn up was fixed with a small Band-Aid, leaving her with a BIG ugly scar. Laurie definitely had issues at home that were festering in the school setting. Because these issues were never dealt with effectively or at all, she faced enormous challenges at school. So often, home experiences spill over into school experiences. Are we educating the “school child” or the “whole child”? If we were just educating the “school child” then we would assume that a child’s life at school and a child’s life at home are mutually exclusive. This is just not true. Both experiences are intertwined and must be approached as a whole.

“She was learning deceit at home and the value of being quiet at school.” pp. 79, 80.

Because of the environment at home, children often choose to act out in different ways. In my experience, have seen some children act out at home for their parents and then be the “good girl” or boy at school. Parents are often surprised if their child is better at school. They frequently want to share with me comments about their child’s poor behavior at home. I think that I have a structured environment at school with high (manageable) expectations. Most children can find success in my classroom with regards towards behavior. This makes me wonder if a child’s behavior is poor at home, and great at school…is the family unit organized, structured, fostering of a healthy environment. With Laurie, I wonder if she saw much order at home. She spent many hours at a Laundromat that her grandmother managed. The atmosphere provided for her, there, does not seem conducive to a first or second grader’s imagination, needs, or desires. Could this be why Laurie has discovered how to “work the system” both at school and at home? She desires attention at home and doesn’t get it, so she acts out—trying to be noticed. At school, because she is not successful with her academics, she seeks approval and attention from the teachers by being a “good girl”. This kind of positive behavior is working for her now, but I have to wonder if the good behavior will continue as she grows older.

It broke my heart as I read and reread parts of this chapter because so often I see these same scenarios in little girls’ lives that I teach. I want to be the accepting, supportive, and fostering factor in their lives, but will this be enough? I wonder about Laurie. She continued to struggle and retention was still a topic on the table. Is she stuck in a working-class cycle that will never end because of its reoccurring scenarios?

Written by
Heather Holland

First of all it broke my heart when I was reading the part about Laurie dreaming of a Prince, a daddy, to come and love her and be with her. I grew up in a very stable home and honestly never wanted for anything. I didn’t have any of these hardships or economic battles to face day in and day out like Laurie and half of the population at the school I currently teach at. This is one area that is hard for me to identify with, which in turn makes it difficult for me to become closer to and understand better the life that many of my students face at home. I hope that by knowing this and being aware that I need to make sure and identify that because of home life things might not always be great at school, I can better understand how to help them. As Laurie tries to cope with trying to make friends while also struggling with her reading I think about my life growing up in school. I didn’t have to worry about what the other kids thought of my academic ability like Laurie does. And because we all know that some kids can be really mean, I can only imagine what all students who struggle with academics have to go through in school.

All of the writing that Laurie was doing in 2nd grade really showed how she thought about everything going on around her and how all of it impacted her so much. I never really realized that in the first years of writing and reading how much of it is about your own experiences because what else do you know? Even make believe stories were stories created from the basis of another book she had read which was an experience for her. I just can’t believe how much influence some of the smallest things can have.

Hicks ending statement, “Teachers have to contend with their own class specific histories and the feelings they evoke, as the girls they teacher learn which kids of fictions will be safe to write, voice, and live in school,” made me reflect upon myself. Do I understand that my upbringing was different than many of my students and just because it is the way that I want to do it doesn’t mean it is the only way? How many times have I told a student that they were doing something wrong when it was the way they knew from experiences of their own. I wish that I could go back to last year now knowing what I know because there was this little girl that needed something. We never could figure out what to do with her because she was as sweet as could be until she wasn’t being watched. She stole, she cussed, she messed her pants, and later we found out it was an abusive situation at home and she has been recently pulled from the home and put back. I would have done so many things different. We tried loving support but that didn’t work, we tried discipline and that didn’t work, and I even tried a behavioral modification program with her and that didn’t work. But now I see that it was the home life she was brought up in and that was what she knew. Her older brother was put into jail for stealing, and her father abused her so she messed her pants, and the cussing well you can only guess where that came from. Hindsight is 20-20 I guess.

I sometimes feel some of this might be stretched just a little to try and make Laurie’s situations fit the roles that Hicks wants them to fit. I mean some of the playing between Laurie and Nicholas or Laurie and Steven could just be normal stages of a young girl’s life to go through. I remember wanting to play house and be the “Mom” and there was nothing wrong with that. Don’t get me wrong I can see where Hicks is coming from, but I just wonder about some of the situations.

In chapter four Hicks researches the affects that the social status of working-class girlhoods has on the development of a child's literacy learning experiences. She follows her research subject, Laurie, from Kindergarten through second grade. Hicks observations come from both Laurie's home and school environment. Hicks uses her research to make sense of how relationships affect a child's strengths as well as vulnerabilities in school.

I was sad to read about how Laurie's diagnosis changed her social relations of power in school to a more withdrawn "in a funk" person. It really made me think about how a student diagnosed with a disability is affected. As I was reading about Laurie who became violent in her struggles to get the emotional attention she wanted and needed, it reminded me of the many students in our classrooms that have had to act out to get attention. Maybe some of you know more about a ADD diagnosis than I do, because I guess I used to think it was more medical and didn't realize that material stresses and emotional strain went with it. If this is the case then it makes sense why there are so many ADD and ADHD diagnosis at low income poverity schools. At the same time, I question ADD and ADHD diagnosis and wonder how many students could possibly be out their that were diagnosed incorrectly and how this affected their well-being throughout their schooling.

This book has really opened my eyes as to how much our social experiences play such a huge role in writing and literacy experiences. Laurie's love For Nicholas had her writing stories where he was a fictional character. As writers, we do use life expereinces to help us write. In poverty stricken schools, especially, we need to be aware as educators to be certain we are incorporating life experiences such as field trips or mini-fieldtrips to give students concrete pictures in their minds to write about.

The fact that Laurie was showing great signs of becoming an emergent reader and writer in Kindergarten, but having problems in first grade partly due to the reading series that the shool had adopted, saddens me. I am sure that this is happening in many different school districts. Book companies are out to make money so they make changes even when reading programs are working. I admit that I do still go back to some of the old basals because I feel they do a better job of sticking with and building upon the vocaublary words the students have already learned.

My life was like Hicks in that anger outbursts were not the norm in my household. So it is good to read about her research since it helps me to identify with why working-class children sometimes read and write the way they do. I can definately relate to her comment that acting "bad" can be a means of gaining power for children. I had a little girl this year who acted out and wanted to be in control. After meeting mom, I understood why she was so vocal since mom was just like her.

In second grade, Laurie decided to be a good girl in school after seeing others rewarded for their good behavior. Positive incentives do persuade some students to conform to do the right things. Laurie's goal to be good so that she could get kudos from the teacher, is what many students do. Just by saying to one student in line that you like the way he/she lined up, helps the other students to conform. Reading about how she was a good girl in school , but not at home made me think about the children I have had in my room that are good in school but when you tell the parents how good they are, they can't believe it and say they are not like that at home. I have often wondered why this is. How developmentaly appropriate are the books that they are reading at home ? Are the parents expectations in line with the child's reading and writing abilitiy level?

As I was reading about how Mrs. Rhodes continued to use the reading materials presented that did not match the needs of struggling readers such as Laurie, it broke my heart. I'm sure there are many teachers out there that fall under this category. This year I began using our new reading series that our school district adopted. Only one out of three of my groups were experiencing success with these books, so I went back to my old faithful, Yellow Fish Blue Fish series. My students became more successful with with this series since the vocabulary continues to be repeatative whereas the new texts don't reinforce old vocabulary words as well. If we are not careful to select books that are on a child's level and even interest, they become distressed and unsuccessful readers and writers. I like Hicks believe that students need to read in books that match their reading abilities and build their confidence and motivation in reading. Laurie's second grade teacher resembles my classroom where my students are in groups geared toward their reading levels. I truely believe that individualized reading instruction is important to building fluent readers and writers.

I was fortunate to have a daddy figure in my life and did not have to dream about it as Laurie did. But I have taught many children in this type of scenario. There are cases that I have witnessed a child shutting down when dad or mom doesn't show up at school as they had promised. Some become violent and others disoriented and saddened by tears. I struggle in these situations to find the best solution to comforting the child who has been let down and yes it does affect the academic performance as it did Lauries'. It is amazing how much parent relationships empower a child's identity.

Reading about how Laurie's second grade stories were influenced from her social world, really has helped me to understand in more depth, why some children are able to elaborate more than others and where their writing ideas stem from. Truthfully, I feel that their needs to be a good balance in our writing program which includes both writers workshop for confidence building and explicit instruction to help students with writing hurdles. It is true that children such as Laurie will often embark in narrative writing mostly, therefore, instuction that brings about other types of writing genres such as letters, factual stories, discriptive stories, poetry, ect., is also a reason for teachers to occasional choose a writing prompt. Many of Laurie's stories expressed feeling of friendship, her likes, and emotions. I really see more than ever the importance of journal writing so that teachers can identify with their students. I wonder how many students are more fantasy oriented when they come from a disfunctional social life. In cases like this, I agree with Hicks that "maybe reading practices could have been brought into that more critical teaching agenda."

I really enjoyed reading this chapter and do wonder what beame of Laurie. Did she continue to struggle throughout her school life? Was retention ever an answer for her? Changing a school system to meet the needs of challenging students such as Laurie, is something I am not sure how to do, but I do believe that teachers will think differently about their practices with students if they read research about the affects of histories on a child as we have in this class. When we as teachers reach out to understand our children and hear the words "I love you", as Hicks did, then we know we have had a huge impact on the students well-being in school.

Linda Younts

After reading about Laurie's situated history I began thinking about my mother and father and the struggle it must have been to raise two children on modet salaries. Her situation is somewhat different than mine in that I couldn't categorize my family as struggling financially. We never endured many hardships but all families whether headed by a single parent or a two income family must plan well and provide for their children. What a task this must be. I am still single with no children of my own and often cannot figure out how to make my finances work for just me!
Once again I think back to my studies of Ruby Payne and her research on children living in poverty. Families with different sets of priorities based on economic situations must pull from any resources they can find. When a single mom struggles to provide food, shelter, and clothing (the basics) then her focus may not always be on the emotional and academic needs of her child(ren). It is most important to make sure your child has dinner to eat, and reading bedtime stories or taking time to talk and chat about school may take a back seat so to speak. Not to mention the physical strain placed on working class parents. When someone in the family is sick or not feeling well, a doctor's visit may seem too expensive or a burden.
Children like Laurie who may not be provided with all of the care and personal attention may seek it in other places or from other people and school often feels like a safe place with caring people. Laurie sought companionship and love with her friend Nicholas. She acted as a caretaker, perhaps a role in which she feels a sense of control. In her homelife she may not feel like she has much control over what happens.
As Laurie was diagnosed with ADD in Kindergarten I began thinking that this all really does make sense. Why is there an apparent prevalence of kids with ADD or ADHD in our schools these days? These kids existed when I was in elementary school in the 1970s and 1980s but we didn't call it that. I think about the statistics of the number of single parent households and also grandparents trying to raise their grandchildren. Is it any wonder that we have kids who are confused about roles in the family and their role as a child who is expected to behave in school, make great grades, get along with peers, etc. I do not mean to offend any single parents out there. My sister struggled as a single mother not so long ago and I know first hand how my nephew reacted by a divorce and subsequently acted out a bit in school. I felt sorry for him and tried to help my sister and my nephew with my limited knowledge on ADD.
Laurie it seemed truly tried to do the right thing and behave as a "good little girl" in school and be a teacher pleaser. I wonder what was the real root of her anger at home? Was it frustration with her homelife?
I know we all have had students similar to Laurie. I suppose that the best approach I can take it to get to know my students. Ask about their interests and their beliefs. Make them feel important at school. Give them an extra smile and discover their hidden talents and intelligences.

After reading this chapter, my head began to hurt and my mind just shut down. I could not think anymore and I could not stay awake. This is so heart wrenching. This is how I handle painful situations. I cannot function anymore. The only thing I can do is to pray to God, ask him to be at peace, and tomorrow I can face the obstacle. This reading brought back so many memories. You will find out later on as you read this post. Let’s continue with Laurie.

In Kindergarten, Laurie was an interesting little person. She is bright, very confident, and she is very observant of her home life and tries to replenish her emotional upheaval with the prince, “Nicholas” when she goes to school. I wonder why, some females feel that if you find your prince charming, then all your problems will be resolved when it might just add onto your existing circumstances? It was interesting to see how Laurie was so protective of their relationship at school. By drawing Nicholas into her web, while she was at school, gave Laurie the control to monopolize and consume the relationship, in which she did not possess at home. It seems to me that her observation of the females in her family were the dominant ones in her household. Therefore, she felt that she should be the dominant one too, which ceded into the school environment. Her, I’m in charge attitude and nurturing tendencies because of her experiences at home, transferred into the school environment only isolated her from other experiences in the classroom. She just migrated to Nicholas, because her confidence was not there for her to venture into the unknown or explore other relationships in the classroom. She was exhibiting what she had experienced at home and this is what she thought life was all about. In Hick’s story, she never said anything about the mother or grandmother taking the time to read, write, or instill moral values that would make a difference later on in her life. Its amazing, yet, still it is true, there are people who are struggling to survive. The people in this household struggled to survive financially, emotionally, and physically. Now, I really know the meaning of EXIST. It is a fact that these people in this household exist, however, they do not relate, they do not connect, and the only purpose for them is to survive. We have a lot of Laurie’s on every grade level in our classrooms and in this world. I know, my daughter was a Laurie. She was an emotional Laurie. She was as smart as a whip. She had very good manners, and she was very sociable. However, she was self-fish and domineering. There were not any males present in her life or mine, just as Laurie’s mother and grandmother’s life. My husband was killed in a car accident the same day she was born and my father past away when she was 3 years old. I worked two jobs. She was dropped off in the before and after school care at a daycare center and they would transport her to school. I would then pick her up and drop her off at one of my cousin’s house and I would go to work. Then, I would pick her up at 9:30 at night or sometimes at 10:00; depending on the time I would leave my second job. The store closed at 9:00 and I always had to close the store for the day. I would use my lunch hour on my first job to do my volunteer work at that school. She attended a private school. In attending private school, parents had to volunteer their services one-hour per week as a way of showing parent involvement. One day, I received a letter from the headmaster of that school to attend a conference. I thought it was strange, in regards to that, I knew it was a formal meeting. Remember-- I received a letter. When I met with him, he shared with me all the positives of my daughter. He said, she is a very intelligent young lady in academia. She’s a great speller, enjoys mathematics, science, and all the subject content area of school. However, and that is when my heart dropped. That HOWEVER was like a BUT. He shared with me the emotional behaviors my daughter was exhibiting in the classroom. Then he asked me to share our home life. I shared with him my working schedule and our interactions at home and how we attend church on Sundays and it went on. These are his words, and they still bring chills to my body today. He said and he was very stern and authoritative, “if you want your child to be emotionally stable in society, you MUST quit one of your jobs. You must quit one of your jobs for your child’s emotional well being”. I was speechless and I continued to listen. I could not believe that my child exhibited those behaviors he shared with me. I quietly exited his office, prayed, and took the rest of the day off from work. I did not know what to do. From the headmaster’s conversation, the scenario I envision was that eventually, one day, my daughter might end up being emotionally unstable. I do not know the extinct, but being emotionally unstable is something you do not want for your child. I thought long and hard about our lively hood and the extra money made it comfortable for ME. So, I resigned from my part-time employment and from that point on I promised myself, I would never work two jobs as long as she attended school. Her kindergarten year ended up being a successful and positive one academically and socially.

When I read about Laurie’s experiences in the first grade, I was heartbroken when Hick’s stated that Laurie was learning how to fail. Laurie sounds like one of the little girls in my classroom. I will call her Jane. Jane is the only girl in her family of five. Her mother is divorced and she has four older brothers. Jane came to me from first grade reading on the level of 5/6 at the beginning of second grade. Which is equivalent to a Level C or Kindergarten reading level. She would drop her pencil on the floor, ramble in her desk trying to find something, go to the bathroom and stay as long as someone doesn’t knock on the door, would wonder around the room, and she was the classroom bully. She bullied all the male figures in her presence. I knew Jane did not understand what was going on in class and this was her escape, bringing attention to her behavior to disguise her academia. I scheduled a conference with her mother (dejavue). When we met, I informed her of her daughter behaviors in the classroom in regards to her academics. Then, I asked her about her home life, another one of those “situated histories” we encounter as teachers on a daily basis in the classroom. Jane’s mother shared with me their home situation. Then I asked her, “who is bullying her at home”. Have you ever heard that old saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words?” If you could see the look on that woman’s face, she looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Then, I said, the reason I asked, who was bullying her at home is because she is bullying the boys in the classroom. Jane’s mother disposition dropped and she shared with me how the boys are making her life at home difficult. They are picking on her, teasing her, and slapping her on the head. This is what she was doing to the boys in the classroom. We finally were able to correct her behavior and her final reading assessment score is 21/22. She is not on grade level, however, she has really come a long way from a reading level of 5/6.

Laurie’s year in second grade was much better than first grade. She noticed that students were being rewarded for their good behavior, so she made a decision to do the accepted thing. However, it seems that the roles reversed from school to home. She was good at school and not at home. Her writing at school flourished as she imagined this perfect life in her head when she believed she was getting a “daddy” that would be there forever to solve all of her problems. Then shattered when he left.

These examples are the examples of our children lives that we teach everyday in our classrooms. The “situated histories,” of a little girl trying to survive and to be successful academically and socially is definitely a challenge within itself. We as educators, MUST find a way to make those differences in the student’s lives we teach. We cannot wave any magical wand to make that difference. We possess the necessary tools to educate them. We are teachers; we know what to do in preparing them academically. However, we must show them compassion, loving, kindness, and understanding for them to be successful in the environment in which they resides.